UBoxes Sells Moving Boxes With Sexist Snarkfest On Your Delicate Wifely ‘Pregnancy Mood Swings’

biggerboxes2Women now account for quite the spending power in our contemporary economic landscape. So the question remains why some companies, like Uboxes, insist on talking to dudes like they all have a delicate pregnant wifey at home who “meticulously” folds your laundry and is consuming your life with all her craptastic baby purchases. If you were ever curious what Betty Draper might purchase if she had Internet, Uboxes nails it.

Mommyish reader Magen Howard tipped us off to the following copy while purchasing some moving boxes. In the description of the $99.93 “Bigger Boxes Kit,” which includes 30 boxes and moving supplies, Uboxes vividly assumes archaic heterosexual marriage dynamics in which baby stuff automatically translates to the wife’s stuff:

It was in the plan all along to start a family”¦just didn’t expect double trouble! Twins are on the way, and you and your wife need a little more room than your unsuitably small downtown loft. You can hardly keep up with all the packages that come in the mail each day and the loads of baby shower gifts your wife keeps bringing home. As if you didn’t have enough to think about (your job, your rent, your wife and soon-to-be baby girls), you gotta devise a strategic plan for moving all that PINK to your new home. Luckily, Uboxes made it easy for you….You needed a box kit that would transfer the heaps of clothing your wife has so meticulously folded and stacked in piles all around the apartment, AND help you pack bulky items (like the mountain of baby gear that has overtaken your living room).

Oh noes! How sad for Macho Manly Man who is positively drowning in baby stuff for his twins. Oh, and don’t “let” your wife spend too much time with the packing knife, fellas. Because you just never know with those “intense pregnancy mood swings.” All those hormones might transform her into a knife-wielding lunatic:

Your wife might not be able to lift and carry, but she doesn’t get out of all the packing duties”¦our convenient moving supplies will allow her to help from the couch. Let her bundle and secure the Precious Moments figurines, silver-plated baby rattles and glass-etched photo frames with 48 feet of bubble wrap and six pounds of packing paper. Then, let her tape to her hearts’ desire with more than two football fields worth of high-quality packing tape and a heavy-duty dispenser that makes the job effortless. You might not let her near the included box knife for fear of those intense pregnancy mood swings, but keep it handy for unpacking! With all the money you’ll save with UBoxes, you and your wife can enjoy a few extra tubs of ice cream topped with pickles whatever we can do to make your move a little easier!

Pickles and ice cream! LOLZ! Original!

This irksome portrait doesn’t even take a breath from its sexist drivel to consider that maybe a mother/childless WOMAN might be looking to pack up her home. Which is precisely why our reader Magen Howard took her business elsewhere. Furthermore, she left this articulate ragebomb in their comment form:

“I was about to order the “Bigger Boxes Kit #2” when I read the sweet little essay that just set feminism back a couple of decades. How cute! The pregnant wifey needs ice cream and pickles while she lovingly wraps all that superfluous baby gear — which, NO DOUBT, the husband exasperatingly purchased with his hard-earned money — with extra special packing supplies from UBoxes. Maybe her “mood swings” wouldn’t be so bad that she’d have to be kept away from the box cutters if her knuckle-dragging husband didn’t buy into tripe like this.

News flash: Women buy boxes, too, and not just because they’re expecting bundles of joy. You’re here to sell moving supplies, not comedy. Find another marketing person — one who focuses on selling products, rather than one who fancies him- or herself a creative writer (but I’m guessing it’s a “him”). The only thing creative about that tableau was its wild sexism. I’ll find moving supplies elsewhere, at a store or website that chooses not to overtly offend me.”

What she said.

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