I’m All For Smoking Weed, But Stop Claiming It Makes You A Better Mom

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shutterstock_97427186 (1)__1371999733_142.196.156.251Hey parents! Feel free to talk about your drug habits if you are rich and white. If you live in Beverly Hills, you can give yourself and your high friends a cute little name, like the “Marijuana Moms” did. Then you can talk about how ingesting huge amounts of marijuana and taking massive bong hits makes you a better parent. FYI – not recommended if you live in a state that hasn’t legalized medical marijuana or if you are poor.

I am totally for the legalization of marijuana. I think it is fine for adults to use the drug. I’d rather be around a room full of stoned people than a room full of drunk people any day. I just think it’s funny when people insist that being stoned makes them a better parent.

The Huffington Post has a video of the “Marijuana Moms” discussing their exclusive marijuana-consuming parties. These basically consist of a chef coming over and preparing dishes like “cannabis-infused chicken picatta” and cooking everything in cannabis butter. The narration of the video cracks me up: “In California, where marijuana is legal for medical reasons, more and more respectable women are choosing to dine with cannabis.” What makes these women respectable? I’m guessing their Beverly Hills zip code and pant-suits.

The video shows the group of “respectable” women dining on super-fancy pot-infused foods and offering sound bites like this one:

Most people assume that you are going to be stoned if you eat food infused with cannibus, but it actually depends on what strain that you’re using.

When I use cannibus quite frankly it does make me a better mom, because I’m calmer, I’m more rational, I’m not angry, I’m not stressed.

I guess I used all of the “wrong” strains when I consumed it in my twenties because I just remember feeling like I was literally cemented to my couch, crawling up my stairs on my hands and knees and brushing my teeth for an hour and a half. I’ve never been so stoned in all of my life. I couldn’t have cared for a pet rock, let alone a child.

Another favorite part of the video is a scene of one mother cheerfully proclaiming, “Mommy will be right back!” Cut to mommy taking a huge bong hit on the balcony. I’m all for enormous bong-hits amongst adults – but claiming that they make you a better parent is a little ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as the scene of her reading the children’s book she created to explain her habit to her daughter:

“What’s that mommy? This is a joint. It’s made of marijuana.”

Really? Are there also books explaining how to make the perfect martini to our toddlers? What is the point?

Can we have vices and just let them be vices? Nobody’s perfect. Everyone has them. It’s annoying when we have to insist that they make us “better” at anything. Smoking pot makes you high and relaxed. Great. That’s good enough. Stop insisting that a bong hit makes you a super-mom. That’s just stupid.

(photo: Stepan Kapl/ Shutterstock)