10 Types of Sex You’ll Have Once You’re a Parent

Between the potential changes to your body, the lack of sleep that comes with raising a newborn who only snoozes a few hours at a time and adjusting your schedules to accommodate the wee people in your life, your sex life will be different after you have kids.You can still find time to make the bedroom magic happen, but it might not be the same as it was. Here’s the ten types of sex parents have.

1. The first time you have sex after giving birth.



You both want this, but you’re also both afraid of you getting hurt. Accomplishing the goal takes priority over the quality of the activity this time around. Lube is your friend here.

2. The “we really should do it because it’s been awhile” sex.

selena shrug


When you stop to reflect, you can’t remember the last time you did the deed. It may feel strange treating sex like an item on your To-Do list, but once you get going, you’ll wonder why you waited this long between engagements.

3. The baby is napping sex.



There’s something slightly naughty about having sex in the middle of the day while the baby is sleeping. It’s great because it’s too early to be truly tired like you are at night, so you can really enjoy yourself without that voice in the back of your mind wondering if you’re wasting precious sleep time before a 2 a.m. feeding.

4. The baby is fussy sex.



You both really want to get busy, but the baby has been really teething and is super fussy, so you know she could wake at the slightest noise if she hears you from down the hall. Somehow trying so hard to be quiet adds a level of forbidden fun to your bedroom activities.

5. The IOU sex.



You told each other that tonight would be the night, but you both had a really long day and bath time was a struggle, so you mutually agree to table the sex until tomorrow. Or maybe the night after that.

6. Date night sex.

woo hoo


A few childless hours plus that glass of pinot you had with dinner makes you feel carefree and fun. Be careful, this is how siblings get made.

7. Date night nonsex.

sleep drunk cat


The kids went to a sleepover at grandma’s house and you opened a bottle of wine in front of the fireplace in hopes of fanning the flames of love. Instead you got a little tipsy and warm and woke up snoring together on the couch.

8. The planned sex.

jinky with it


You realized it’s been a while since you’ve had the adult time, so you shaved your legs and put on non-cotton underwear. You don’t care what’s on Netflix or how long it takes the kids to fall asleep; tonight it’s on, no matter what.

9. We’re tired but let’s do it anyway sex.

go time


The comfortable, routine sex of the couple who’s been together long enough to know how to get the job done without needing any fanfare or bells and whistles.

10. Sex, interrupted.

walken shhh


You’re in the middle of things when you think you hear a noise from the baby monitor, so you pause to listen. Hearing nothing, you resume activities. Just when you’re getting back into the swing of things, you think you hear something again. This pattern repeats until the baby really does start crying or you’ve both lost your focus on each other in favor of the baby monitor. Better luck next time.

(image: Maridav/Shutterstock.com; originally published Apr 4, 2015)

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