STFU Parents: Parents Will Never Stop Complaining About Daylight Saving Time

It’s been nearly a week since daylight saving time ended and most of us rolled our clocks back an hour, and as usual, a certain segment of the population was like, “Oh HELL yeah!” while another, more dependents-heavy segment of the population was like, “Aaarrghhh, now my kids will never be back on schedule!!” What’s funny is that everyone seems to agree that daylight saving time sucks in general, and yet every six months, it almost feels like a competition on social media to see who has it worse (or better, depending on your perspective and the time of year).

In the spring, nearly everyone hates life for the first 48-72 hours after daylight saving time begins, and parents make valid arguments for getting the extra-short end of the stick. Their kids already wake up super early, so losing an hour of sleep is akin to medieval torture. I’m guessing most parents would rather attend a dozen additional Chuck E. Cheese birthday parties per year if it meant never dealing with “spring forward” ever again, and understandably so. But in the not-so-distant future, when we all “fall back,” you’d think most parents would keep the whining to a minimum. After all, things could be worse, and in fact they will be again come March. So how about in autumn, parents consider taking a break from this particular gripe?

Yes, it’s still annoying dealing with babies and toddlers who don’t get the concept of “falling back” (unless it’s in reference to physically toppling over because they can’t hold their heads up and/or walk upright) — but this snafu shouldn’t be a surprise. Complaining about it every six months is the equivalent of complaining that the grass needs to be mowed again. We all know that children can’t grasp the finer points of tying their shoes, much less grasp the inane practice of rolling clocks forward and backward like some kind of ancient civilization. Is it really worth discussing on social media bi-annually like it’s brand new? If I know my apartment’s water line will be turned off next Thursday for city construction, would it make sense for me to post my disillusionment when I’m inevitably unable to take a shower?

I know daylight saving time can be a hardship for parents regardless of the time of year, but c’mom, it’s not that bad. It’s a nuisance, but it’s easier to deal with than abject poverty, or the Frozen merchandise shortage. I just wish the parents who continue to post their hatred of daylight saving time year in and year out agreed with me. Instead, we’ve now got stupid ad campaigns like the diapers.com petition on change.org encouraging parents to grumble online with the hashtag #ParentsAgainstDST. The tagline? “Join the movement and help us tell DST to stick it where the sun don’t shine.” Ugh. You know parents are over-complaining about a specific subject on social media when a diaper website creates a gimmicky hashtag campaign around it.

So the next time we experience daylight saving time going into effect (March 13th!), how about pressing the brakes on the woe is mom whining on social media? You can still commiserate with friends as you sleepwalk together to the playground, but ask yourself if it’s even worth posting about on Facebook. Are your complaints any different than boring status updates about 5pm gridlock and traffic stalls? At least with daylight saving time, everyone — kids included — adapts to the time change eventually. And then we all just move on.

Until that sweet, sweet day comes in which daylight saving time is eradicated altogether, here are some parents who are stating the obvious about their irritation with the time change.

1. Babies Don’t Understand DST Because Babies Don’t Understand Anything

Yep, it sure is too bad. Good post, Ashley. You sound properly exhausted — though I’m afraid your status update isn’t original:

I can’t tell if Emily is cat-jacking Brian’s update in a sincere manner or if she’s pointing out that literally every sub-intelligent creature doesn’t know to switch schedules during DST, but yes, both babies and cats are too stupid to understand the fundamental concept of “fall back.” Then again, babies and cats can’t tell time in the first place and have no sense of understanding most things, including but not limited to sudden noises, lightness and darkness, seeing colors, and the feeling of water touching them. But if Brian and Emily must point out this indisputable fact, so be it.

2. DST Bedtime Confusion Abounds

Guys, guys, guys: Please stop and listen to Heather and Kristin. Granted, I’ve made the case before that parents could just side-step the frustrating effects of DST by putting their kids to bed a little earlier or a little later based on the season, but that doesn’t mean it actually works — especially if you’re confused by the premise and accidentally set up your child to harass you much earlier than usual. I’m still not sure when Jennifer wound up putting her kid to bed, but I hope she figured it out. Although technically, it doesn’t matter if she did or didn’t. The kid is going to wake up when he wakes up and eventually he’ll adjust. If only diapers.com was paying Jennifer to live blog her experience so we could find out precisely when her son awakes and falls asleep each night for the next month. That would be exciting to know.

3. DST-jacking

Oh, snap! Julie wasn’t having any of Holly’s mommyjacking nonsense. NOPE. She was all casual like, “Oh, yeah, that sounds like it sucks. I’ll sleep in extra-late on your behalf this weekend, ‘k? ¯_(ツ)_/¯”

To be fair, there’s nothing wrong with Holly’s comment; it’s just one of those pointless little corrections that makes you wonder why she added that smiley face. Also, it’s usually people like Holly who wind up terrifying their friends by helpfully calling attention to all the ways that being a parent is hard / makes you lose sleep / ruins everything good in your pre-baby life. Thanks for that, Holly!

*Ahem* (cues Oprah voice) WE KNOOOOOOWWW!!!!! (Nothing against Shannon, it’s just … we know. Let Lindsay celebrate a little, will ya?)

4. Parents VS Parents VS DST

Here’s the aforementioned diapers.com campaign that made the online rounds this week. What I find interesting is that it inspired some hostile parent-on-parent crime, with parents taking jabs at each other all over the comment section. Take Steve, for instance, who has some “slightly older dad” thoughts that don’t translate to young parents very well:

Yikes. I’m not sure I’m on either side here. Steve IS being a bit of a sanctidaddy, but I like his moxie. Maybe he’s not even deriding young parents so much as reacting to what is obviously a stupid campaign launched by an online diaper retailer to get a “buzz” going near the end of daylight saving time. Which is to say: complaining about DST has officially jumped the shark, and all of the parents who are arguing with each other about this subject on Facebook should probably be napping instead.

5. Mom’s Gold Star

This is one of the few parental DST updates I’ve seen that actually made me laugh. Gabby might want to #layoff the #hashtags, but her update is pretty #entertaining. More than that, though, I appreciate that Gabby’s not actually complaining. She sounds, dare I say, relaxed and laid back about the *absolute horror* that is daylight saving time, which runs contrary to almost every other parent posting on the subject. Nice work, Gabby. You even incorporated a Someecard. I hope your kids slept in (or will this weekend). #fingerscrossed #beenaweek #DSTsucks #butnotthatmuch