Twitter Is Freaking out Over the Way This Guy Prepares His Watermelon

By  | 

Watermelons are one of the most heavenly fruits on this earth. They’re sweet, juicy, refreshing, and have next to zero calories. They’re excellent eaten right off the rind, or cut up into chunks. And if you know anything about Mexican street food, you might have also enjoyed them prepared with Tajin and lime. Tajin is a mild chili powder that, when sprinkled over our favorite melons, makes their flavor pop. Which is why when I saw what this guy tossed onto his watermelon, I instantly knew why. And guess what? Twitter’s also freaking out over this white chef’s watermelon fail.

Twitter user @earley (who goes by the name of Kelly) posted this video on to her account of Food Network celeb James Briscione on April 30th. The video shows Briscione (star of the show Man Crafted—yeah, I don’t know WTF that means, either) mansplaining the best way to eat a watermelon. First he cuts it into chunks. Then he puts it on a stick (OK, so far, so good, Briscione).

And then, his rips open a little packet of McCormick taco seasoning and DOUSES THE WATERMELON IN IT.

Uhm, yeah. No.

So what on earth possessed Briscione to ruin a perfectly good watermelon, you might ask? I’ve got a few guesses. The first, of course, is that he was paid a lot of money by the clueless (read: probably white) folks at McCormick. The next is that he (and/or those confused souls at McCormick, or the surprisingly oblivious people at Food Network) thought they were perfectly replicating the magical fruit with chili and lime that you can get for dirt cheap off the side of the road in Mexico. Rest assured, Twitter had something to say as well, and yes, a few folks even saw the Tajin connection:

However, with a little sleuthing, I discovered that Briscione’s Man Crafted show is basically about him finding a random dish and pouring taco seasoning (assuming McCormick’s) all over it, to make it, you know, more “manly.” Can I roll my eyes back into my head far enough?

Yeah. No. I see you, McCormick, Briscione, and Food Network. Want to make someone a celeb? Start by bringing in one of the señoras that walk the streets selling fruta fresca (fresh fruit) with chili and lime. They’re the real stars.

(Image: Twitter / @earley)