being a mom

STFU Parents: Labor Day Isn’t About Birth Stories, And Yet Here We Are

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6. Every “Piece” Of Information

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Matt, you certainly did learn from the best! Except, even your own Mom was all, “Honey, STFU with that mess.” Not that this is the worst birth story anyone’s ever read; it’s not! It’s even from 2011, when times were so much simpler and Facebook Timeline hadn’t yet launched. That said, I’m hoping that in the five years that have passed, you’ve modified this story and left out the part about the cervix swelling and the “little piece left.” You may have also considered turning that “we” into “my wife,” since she’s the one who was on the “adventure.” You were more of a bystander to that adventure, munching on snacks and playing Angry Birds and maybe even pounding a few beers to relieve some stress in the interim. But hey – that’s a topic for another column. Congrats on your adventure, Matt. I hope it’s served you well so far, and you haven’t posted any poop pictures. Unfortunately for some birth story oversharers, that’s the logical next step.

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(Originally published on: Sep 1, 2016B; Image: iStock / PHDG)

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