STFU Parents: 5 Facebook Maternity Pictures That Should Have Stayed Offline

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Last year, I dedicated a column to notable maternity picture trends, and since then, my inbox has continued to balloon with bizarre submissions. Also since then, the world has gained about a zillion “What She Wore” Kim Kardashian maternity photo galleries, which got me thinking about how people publicly portray themselves when they’re pregnant. Not that I care what Kim Kardashian wears, and not that everyone who steps foot outside her home is “making a statement” with an outfit, but there’s something to be said about a woman’s approach to pregnancy in the public eye. After all, Kate Middleton would never be caught dead wearing this, nor would she post elaborate boudoir photo shoots of herself on Facebook (I’m assuming). And it’s not just because she’s royalty. It’s because it’s not her style.

I understand the impulse behind maternity photo shoots and the desire to document one’s changing body, because pregnancy is a fully transformative experience. You could even make a case that those nine months *should* be documented. However, the ways in which some people choose to do that boggle the mind, especially when the images are shared on Facebook. I try to imagine what each person is trying to achieve with the posts, but ultimately I keep coming back to the same reactions, which range from a simple “No.” to “Oh, for the love of god, NO.” Here are some more examples of maternity pictures that probably should have been kept offline, but for whatever reason, weren’t.

1. Bikini Bod Selfie

STFU Parents

Okay, so…Chelsea was just looking for an excuse to post a picture of herself in a bra and underwear? Got it. Something tells me she’ll also document the road “back” to her bikini body after she has her baby. And won’t that be exciting?

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