Recall Alert! Salads and Wraps Are Trying to Kill Us Again

Listen, lettuce, we’re just trying to eat right goddamn it! How are we supposed to be healthy when every time we buy lettuce, it tries to kill us? Sure, some snack foods are to get us, too. But when’s the last time candy tried to make us sick? Or wine or vodka? It’s hard to me a new me when the only safe foods are fried and/or alcohol. Another food recall is underway, and affects salad and wrap products sold at some of our favorite stores. The items under recall may be contaminated by a parasite called cyslospora. A nice change of pace from the usual salmonella!

The recall is for certain beef, pork, and poultry salads and wraps sold at Trader Joe’s, Kroger, and Walgreens.

Earlier this week, the US Department of¬†Agriculture’s Food Safety and Inspection Service sounded the alarm. Apparently, the Indiana-based food supplier Caito Foods was notified of the dangerous issue by their lettuce supplier, Fresh Express. The chopped romaine used in some of the affected products had possibly been contaminated by cyclospora, which sounds dreadful, tbh.

The cyclospora parasite causes intestinal distress. Symptoms can begin as much as a week after being exposed to the parasite. That’s a stressful week.

Symptoms include explosive diarrhea (fun), stomach pains, gas, nausea, and loss of appetite. Sometimes people who’ve been exposed will experience flu-like symptoms, like fever, headache, and body aches. The real kicker is that the parasite can seem to go away, and then knock you on your ass again a week or two later. It can last anywhere from a few days to A FEW MONTHS. And the incubation period is anywhere between 2-14 days, so some people … may have a really bad time coming up.

The affected items were produced between July 15-18, and have a “Best By” or “Sell By” date between July 18 to July 23.

The products being recalled include salads and wraps that contain beef, pork, or poultry sold at Kroger, Walgreens, and Trader Joe’s. Chef salads, chicken Caeser salads and wraps, and my beloved tarragon chicken wrap from Trader Joe’s are included. A full list of items affected by the recall is available on the USDA website.

If you have any of the recalled products in your fridge, throw them out or return them to the store where you bought them. And if you’ve eaten any of those items in last couple of weeks … godspeed, friends.

(Image: Facebook/Q13FOX)

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