I Can’t Correct My Nieces’ Potty Mouths Because They’re Just Too Funny

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potty humorI find myself getting in a lot of trouble these days. Every time my nieces open their mouths with some sort of “potty talk,” I cannot help but laugh and get immediately called out on it. Whether it’s the 5-year-old talking about her “vagina cheeks” or my 2-year-old niece getting in trouble for saying “stinky butt” at school, I am unable to keep a straight face. I know I’m supposed to correct them and make sure they know that those words are inappropriate, but I just find it so funny.

Their comedic timing is on point. Also, I’m a little confused as to which words should be taboo. Is “butt hole” really that bad of a word? I think “vagina cheeks” is actually quite clever. I never thought of them that way.

I am aware that my laughing is not helping their parents when it comes to getting them to stop. I do reprimand my nieces on the rare occasion they say something not so nice about someone else in public. Such as, “look how fat that lady is.”

They are the sweetest girls so I know they aren’t really trying to be mean — but more trying to see what my reaction will be. But when it comes to being in the comfort of their own home, and talking about what goes on in the bathroom, I don’t find it all that bad.

I know talking about body parts and bathroom functions is a stage that most kids go through and eventually outgrow. But I apparently haven’t completely outgrown potty humor. I still can’t hear the word “fart” without laughing.

My nieces call farting “pumping” as in pumping gas. It’s absolutely adorable. Especially when they ask each other “Did you pump?” It’s also good for when we’re in public. It keeps people from being aware of what they are actually talking about.

They’ve also made up a song called “American Armpits” which, I believe if given some publicity, would be a hit.

I often find that I revert back to my 12-year-old self when I’m around them. Whether it’s playing on the swing set or having a dance party. I enjoy being a “fun” aunt. I do have to try to find the balance of being the friend and the disciplinarian. On the rare occasion, I am successful.

I was babysitting for them recently and while I was able to get the 2-year-old to bed without incident, I kept hearing laughing coming from the bedroom that my 8- and 5-year-old nieces share. I walked in and was told by my eldest niece that her younger sister was being crazy and keeping her up.

I looked at my niece and said “please be quiet and go to sleep. You are going to wake your sister up.”

She looked at me and said, “OK, Mrs. Long Boobs.”

I was proud that I was able to wait until I walked out of the room and got downstairs before bursting out laughing.

My brother and sister-in-law also have the moments when they can’t help but laugh. But for the most part, they tell them that that’s not a nice way to speak and to stop. I guess if I was with them everyday, I would surely get sick of all the bathroom and body part humor.

I do understand that my laughing is just encouraging them to continue and therefore not helping the situation. It’s something I’m working on. Right now I just need to try to hold back the laughs. Like the next time one of them moons me, I’ll try to think of something that makes me angry or sad so they don’t see me crack a smile.

So as of right now Mrs. Long Boobs is going to take this opportunity to work on her poker face.

(photo: Gladskikh Tatiana / Shutterstock)