a single mother

Holiday Greetings From Rehab! Octomom’s Octokids Give Us The Christmas Song We Never Wanted

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I know you guys have been looking for a holiday song to round out your iPod playlist, after you have all downloaded the amazingly brilliant Thanksgiving jam , “It’s Thanksgivingbrought to us by Nicole Westbrook. I’m here to tell you all that you can stop considering Johnny Mathis or Bing Crosby because nothing says Christmas like a new song from the fourteen kids of our favorite porn star Xanax addict single mother Octomom! 

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Ok, so we don’t get all the Octokids, but “The Rocktuplets” feature a handful of them basically repeating the same lyrics over and over again until one of the kids , maybe Joshua, busts in with a rap where he rhymes the words “learn” and “come” and who the hell wrote the lyrics to this shitshow touching holiday song? I don’t think it was Octomom!

According to the Huffington Post:

“My children wanted to do a song of their own when I was recording mine, and we thought, what a great idea and how fun for the kids,” Suleman told HuffPost Celebrity’s Rob Shuter.

Suleman is currently in rehab, getting help for stress, anxiety, exhaustion and an addiction to Xanax, according to E! Online, but says she found time to enjoy what’s sure to be a holiday classic for seasons to come.

“I wasn’t able to be there for the recording or filming of the video, but I was able to see the end result and I am so proud of all of them,” Suleman tells HuffPost. “I cried because I miss them so much.”

You guys need to watch the video, so than I won’t feel so alone in the fact I had to witness this myself. It’s sort of like when you videotape your own kids playing Rockband or singing a song they learned for a school play all about the 50 states or something, the only difference is you and I didn’t put it on iTunes so people could pay money for it. Most of our kids are not The Jackson Five or even The Osmonds, no matter how many porno movies we have all made!

As sort of truly bad Nicole Westbrook’s jam is, she really looks like she is having fun and I have to give her a whole mess of bonus points for rapping about mashed potatoes. The Rocktuplets don’t even mention any side dishes. I hate to be so mean about this because these poor kids are just victims in this whole Octomom Rehab Celebrity Porntastic Sideshow, but I just can’t help it. This song sucks it. Now go on and listen to it so the rest of you can have “ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay” stuck in your heads too.

(photo: gst/Shutterstock)