My Baby Loves His Father More Than Me
Most mothers know the term â€œMommmyitous,â€ which is when your child refuses to leave mommyâ€™s side, or if someone tries to hold your child theyâ€™ll just reach out and want Mommy, Mommy, and Mommy. But who ever uses the term â€œDaddyitous?â€ My son has Daddyitous.
When my fiancÃ© comes home from work, itâ€™s game over for mommy. I no longer exist. My son just wants Daddy, Daddy, and Daddy. He will not leave Daddyâ€™s side, grabbing onto his leg and not letting go. When my fiancÃ© tries to put him down on the floor, he starts to scream, so my fiancÃ© has to pick him up again. My fiancÃ© literally has to sneak out the door in the mornings because my son has such â€œDaddyitous.â€
Iâ€™m not used to this. My daughter definitely had Mommyitous from the time she was born and Iâ€™ll admit, I loved it. She STILL has Mommyitous and I still LOVE it. Who wouldnâ€™t? Itâ€™s so nice to know that you are the most important and wonderful person in your childâ€™s life!
When my nephew was a toddler, he only wanted my brother. He even refused to let my sister-in-law put him to bed and many, many times I heard my nephew wailing, â€œI want Daddy! I want Daddy ONLY! NO MOMMY!â€
Back then, I thought, â€œWow! Thatâ€™s got to sting for my sister-in-law. How can her feelings not be hurt that her own son doesnâ€™t want her?â€ But now Iâ€™m living the same thing. When Daddy is around, Mommy is as good as a lamp, something that is in the room but not needed. Which if I really think about it should hurt my feelings.
Iâ€™m the one home with the dude all day. Iâ€™m the one that makes sure he naps, eats, has his diaper changed. I do the grunge work, the unappreciated grunge work that keeps him alive! Daddy just comes home from work and, um, Mommy is totally forgotten about. (I wonâ€™t get into the fact that Daddy didnâ€™t have to carry baby for almost 10 months either!)
My fiancÃ© does not like that our son has Daddyitous. He doesnâ€™t find it endearing. He finds it kind of annoying. He finds it fucking annoying. I can see why. My fiancÃ©, when he is home, canâ€™t even go to the bathroom without taking our son with him.
I think my feelings donâ€™t get that hurt because itâ€™s a great excuse for me to have some Mommy Time. Hey, the kid doesnâ€™t want me! He wants Daddy! What can I do? Literally, my fiancÃ© will be chopping up vegetables for dinner and our son will be hanging off his leg for dear life. Even though I am WAY better at putting our son to bed, if my son starts to talk like, â€œI ONLY WANT DADDY TO PUT ME TO BED,â€ well, I think Iâ€™ll be just fine with that. Changing him, trying to get him into his pajamas, feeding him a bottle, reading him a book isnâ€™t exactly my ideal of fun every single night. My fiancÃ© may get annoyed that our son has Daddyitous, and I MAY pretend to be upset.
I have said, â€œWhy doesnâ€™t he love me as much?â€ pretending to be hurt while really thinking, “Thank God, I get a break!â€
â€œI donâ€™t know what to tell you,â€ Iâ€™ll say to my fiancÃ©. â€œHe just really loves you. You should be so happy!â€
Yes, Iâ€™m trying to get my fiancÃ© to look at the positive of Daddyitous so he wonâ€™t get so annoyed and I can enjoy some free time. When Daddy is not around, my son DOES want Mommy. Itâ€™s kind of like getting a silver medal instead of a gold. But I think silver is just fine (except when it comes to jewelry.)
Iâ€™m going to enjoy this time while my son has Daddyitous because it doesnâ€™t last forever apparently. And, as sappy as it sounds, I love seeing how much my son adores his dad.