My Baby Loves His Father More Than Me

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toddler loving dadI’m actually quite proud of myself for not allowing my feelings to get (too) hurt. I know my son loves me. I just think he loves his father more (at least right now). Happy Father’s Day, I guess.

Most mothers know the term “Mommmyitous,” which is when your child refuses to leave mommy’s side, or if someone tries to hold your child they’ll just reach out and want Mommy, Mommy, and Mommy. But who ever uses the term “Daddyitous?” My son has Daddyitous.

When my fiancé comes home from work, it’s game over for mommy. I no longer exist. My son just wants Daddy, Daddy, and Daddy. He will not leave Daddy’s side, grabbing onto his leg and not letting go. When my fiancé tries to put him down on the floor, he starts to scream, so my fiancé has to pick him up again. My fiancé literally has to sneak out the door in the mornings because my son has such “Daddyitous.”

I’m not used to this. My daughter definitely had Mommyitous from the time she was born and I’ll admit, I loved it. She STILL has Mommyitous and I still LOVE it. Who wouldn’t? It’s so nice to know that you are the most important and wonderful person in your child’s life!

When my nephew was a toddler, he only wanted my brother. He even refused to let my sister-in-law put him to bed and many, many times I heard my nephew wailing, “I want Daddy! I want Daddy ONLY! NO MOMMY!”

Back then, I thought, “Wow! That’s got to sting for my sister-in-law. How can her feelings not be hurt that her own son doesn’t want her?” But now I’m living the same thing. When Daddy is around, Mommy is as good as a lamp, something that is in the room but not needed. Which if I really think about it should hurt my feelings.

I’m the one home with the dude all day. I’m the one that makes sure he naps, eats, has his diaper changed. I do the grunge work, the unappreciated grunge work that keeps him alive! Daddy just comes home from work and, um, Mommy is totally forgotten about. (I won’t get into the fact that Daddy didn’t have to carry baby for almost 10 months either!)

My fiancé does not like that our son has Daddyitous. He doesn’t find it endearing. He finds it kind of annoying. He finds it fucking annoying. I can see why. My fiancé, when he is home, can’t even go to the bathroom without taking our son with him.

I think my feelings don’t get that hurt because it’s a great excuse for me to have some Mommy Time. Hey, the kid doesn’t want me! He wants Daddy! What can I do? Literally, my fiancé will be chopping up vegetables for dinner and our son will be hanging off his leg for dear life. Even though I am WAY better at putting our son to bed, if my son starts to talk like, “I ONLY WANT DADDY TO PUT ME TO BED,” well, I think I’ll be just fine with that. Changing him, trying to get him into his pajamas, feeding him a bottle, reading him a book isn’t exactly my ideal of fun every single night. My fiancé may get annoyed that our son has Daddyitous, and I MAY pretend to be upset.

I have said, “Why doesn’t he love me as much?” pretending to be hurt while really thinking, “Thank God, I get a break!”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” I’ll say to my fiancé. “He just really loves you. You should be so happy!”

Yes, I’m trying to get my fiancé to look at the positive of Daddyitous so he won’t get so annoyed and I can enjoy some free time. When Daddy is not around, my son DOES want Mommy. It’s kind of like getting a silver medal instead of a gold. But I think silver is just fine (except when it comes to jewelry.)

I’m going to enjoy this time while my son has Daddyitous because it doesn’t last forever apparently. And, as sappy as it sounds, I love seeing how much my son adores his dad.

(photo: MCarper / Shutterstock)