a single mother
Man’s Post About Forgiving His Ex-Wife & Her New Husband For The Holidays Goes Viral For All The Right Reasons
Any parent who’s divorced or separated will probably be able to relate to a man named Sean Whalen‘s Facebook post. He talks about having Thanksgiving with his ex-wife, their kids, and her new man and how building a positive relationship with them is “the most difficult thing [he’s] ever done” but also the process helped him find “priceless [peace and freedom].”
Along with a photo of the two standing by a stove, Sean wrote, “This is Justin, my ex wifeâ€™s husband.”
“It wasnâ€™t too long ago he and I stood in the front yard of my ex wifeâ€™s house damn near throwing down with police [en-route.] … I hated this guy. I hated that he was around my kids. I hated that he hugged them and tucked them in at night.” But now, they’re able to celebrate the holidays together, with his ex-wife and the kids they share. “When he walked in he gave me a big hug and said, ‘happy thanksgiving man.’ That hug was [the] highlight of my day.”
He continued, “I could tell so many stories. I have so many reasons to be ‘mad’ and to hate them both. But I learned that building a relationship with them wasnâ€™t for my kids or for us, going into the deepest parts of my [pride, ego, and soul] to learn to love them, TO TRULY LOVE THEM was for me.”
“What kind of man was I if I hated my childrenâ€™s mom? What kind of man was I and would I ever be if I carried ANGER & BITTERNESS towards him or her REGARDLESS of all the BS and pain? … You MUST love your ex for one reason. You MUST FORGIVE & TRULY LOVE for one reason. YOU.”
You can read the post in complete below:
The post garnered over ten thousand comments and six thousand shares, clearly resonating with the audience. Many people shared their own stories of learning to forgive their exes who were parents of their children.
“And where was I today? My ex husbandâ€™s house with my kids and his wife and HER family too! It has taken years to get here, but it is so nice to not dread this day and how kids need to go to both houses and being tense. They are 28and 24 and they have bonuses with an extra mom and grandparents. I am truly blessed with these wonderful people. I hope everyone can get here someday that struggles with this!” one woman named Colleen Busby wrote.
Another said, “Well said Sean. If you can make peace with your ex you can live with yourself. Been there done that, my ex & I have been friends for a loooong time. It’s helped both of us, not to mention our kids. Who are 37 & 35 yrs old. Good post on a Thanksgiving day!”
On the other side, there were also children of divorced parents who shared how important it was for their parents to be amicable — especially around the holidays. Casey Coffee said, “I had both of my dads at Thanksgiving today. My step dad came with us to my real dads house….they drank whiskey together and kicked my ass in dominos.” Another named Vicki Riedel Walver shared, “I love this! My parents divorced when I was [three] and my mom remarried. I thought it was normal for my dad to always be at our house for the holidays, birthdays, etc… It wasnâ€™t until I was in my teens that I realized we were a unique family. I couldnâ€™t thank them enough for raising us this way.”
She finished the comment writing, “[It’s] he true meaning of loving your children.”