The Secret’s Out: Some Guests Have A Burning Hatred For Your Baby Shower

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shutterstock_111294374Hate is a strong word, which is why I’m not going to mince words here. I feel so-so about the girls-only baby shower idea. I strongly prefer the concept of a coed baby shower, but that’s just me.

I thought that I was bad with my secret feelings of ill will for girls-only showers, but it turns out that there is an entire category of people that H-A-T-E baby showers with the burning fires of hell.

Wait, it gets better. I found these diehard haters expressing their hateful hate on the Internet. Don’t worry—they have hate for all kinds of showers, not exclusive to the baby variety:

I hate bridal showers. I hate baby showers.

I’m not married, and I’ve never wanted children. But sure, I am happy for family and friends who choose to do these things.

I’m generous with gifts; I’ll buy you a really nice gift–so it’s not about that.

And contrary to what some wedding-obsessed or baby-obsessed women will surely claim, I don’t hate showers because I’m somehow “jealous” and wish that I were getting married or reproducing. I have no desire to have kids and never did. And the only one responsible for me not being married is me.

I don’t have an aversion to all parties. Some parties can be fun. But showers are very different.

Silver lining—this hateful lady doesn’t hate an actual shower used for personal hygiene. She just has the honesty and audacity to express her unrelenting hate for any type of shower celebration, and you know what? I kind of like her for it.

Here is a complete list of her hateful shower hate:

  • Baby shower registries
  • People who violate the baby shower registry
  • Babies”R”Us
  • Girls-only parties
  • Add-on gifts, i.e. an extra toy to bring to the baby shower that you “don’t get credit for”
  • Stupid baby shower rituals
  • Zero alcohol—MIMOSAS DON’T COUNT

The more I read, the more I like this hateful chick. Everyone knows that mimosas don’t count. If you want anyone to attend your boring girls-only baby shower, then you need to make sure you have some hard liquor stashed underneath the present table.

I will happily attend a traditional girls-only baby shower if I am invited, and I will definitely buy a gift off the registry. But just know when you invite me to your girls-only shower, there will be a small part of me basking in this hateful baby shower hate. I’ll sip my haterade and smile through the lame ass games by taking comfort in the fact that I am not alone. Haters gonna hate.

(Image: bikeriderlondon/Shutterstock)