Childrearing

Help Your Daughter Achieve Her ‘Strutting’ Milestone With These High Heels For Babies

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baby_sequinHas your baby learned to sit up? What about crawling? Cruising? Strutting? That is a big milestone. If your baby hasn’t mastered a catwalk strut by 11 months, it is probably nothing but you might want to consult your pediatrician, then buy a pair of tiny high heels so your infant can practice her runway walk in her crib.

Pee Wee Pumps are a tiny little high-heel designed for babies who cannot walk yet. They are available in sizes from newborn to six months. The website describes them as “Her first fashion statement,” and the styles have names like “Diva,” “Sassy,” “Glamorous,” and “Wild Child.” You know, for your sassy, glamorous, wild child diva who can’t lift her head up yet.

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The heels are collapsible and the shoes are merely decorative because six-month-old babies can’t walk anyway, but these are apparently sparking a fair bit of outrage among parents who describe them as “naff” (“tacky” in American) at best or inappropriate and sexualizing at worst.

I am fully in favor of dressing young infants up however you want as though they were tiny, drooling American Girl dolls, but there’s a line at which this sort of behavior becomes weird, and that line occurs somewhere in the vicinity of baby high heels. Padded bras for babies? Definitely weird. Red lipstick for babies? Pretty weird.

High heels for babies? It’s baffling. I’ve honestly been staring at these for an hour and I can’t decide where on the weird scale they fall. Weirder than baby bikinis, but not as weird as padded baby bras.

There should really be a rating scale for inappropriate baby fashions, like the charts of grimacing faces they show you at the hospital to assess how much pain you’re in. Except instead of grading pain levels, it would chart horror levels on a scale from “cocked eyebrow” to “clutched pearls.”

Photos: Pee Wee Pumps