The ‘Gentlemanly Commandments’ List Makes All of The Dudes We Know Look Like D-Bags

By  | 

Country Life Gentlemanly Commandments I think props must first be given to County Life’s Gentlemanly Commandments list because all too often, women’s magazines love spouting off their own do’s and don’t lists for ladeeees and it’s about time the mens had their own dumb list to follow. Country Life’s Gentlemanly Commandments have been published to mark the launch of the magazine’s Gentleman of the Year Award, and why do I get the feeling the dude who will win this is probably a certain Duke Of Cambridge? I mean, who else could really be in the running? Regardless, I know it is not your man or mine because all of our dudes breaks the majority of these rules. According to the Daily Mail:

Jilly Cooper  – one of the judging panel for the awards – told the BBC that a real man ‘drives you home after he’s been to bed with you. He wouldn’t jump on you without asking and he wouldn’t jump off buses without paying.’

‘A gentleman is never unkind, they put people ate their ease, they are honorable and gallant.’

She included David Attenborough, Prince William, Ben Fogle and Steven Gerrard in her list of perfect gentleman.

I love both the do’s and don’t lists because they are equally fussy and dumb. Do’s include:

  • Dresses to suit the occasion
  • Makes love on his elbows
  • Occasionally gets drunk, but never disorderly

The don’t’s are:

  • Plant gladioli

  • Own a cat
  • Tweet
  • Put products in his hair

First of all, and I have tried to use my imagination for this one but to no avail, how does one make love on their elbows? Is this so the dude doesn’t crush the person he is making love to? What’s more, who uses the term makes love? Oh, let me guess, true gentlemen. Vom.

And what’s with the cat and gladioli hate? What is wrong with gladioli? I think if any man actually plants anything we should be thrilled about it. If I were to make my own list, I would say real gentlemen never spit in the parking lots of WalMart or leave their firearm at the dinner table. I so need to write an etiquette book!

(Image:Getty Images)