Mommyish Gift Guide: Pregnant Ladies Don’t Want Baby Stuff

How many holiday seasons will someone spend pregnant? Usually, not many – which is why it’s totally okay to shower a pregnant lady with things that she needs to make her happy and make her pregnancy more tolerable. Please note the absence of baby books, baby clothes, or anything else that doesn’t have to strictly do with making the pregnant woman herself happy. If this is her first – it’s the last holiday season she’ll be the center of attention, ever.

Bad Ass Necklace

Is there anything more bad ass than making a human and then unleashing it upon the world? I think not. Help the pregnant lady in your life feel like the bad ass she is.

The Queen of All Body Pillows

Look at this thing. I know what you’re thinking, “How does anyone else fit in bed with her if she is shrouded in this amazing pillow?” It’s a fair question. The answer is – who cares? She will sleep so well she’ll forget that she’s robbing her partner of his or her fair share of bed real estate.

‘Don’t Touch’ T-Shirt

This is the best shirt, ever. Every pregnant woman should own one.

See’s Candy Bordeaux

My God. What evil genius created these? Oh, I guess grandmama See did. “One of our most requested candies, See’s Milk Bordeaux is a heavenly blend of creamy brown sugar covered in milk chocolate and decorated with chocolate rice.” They are amazing. Don’t expect her to share.

iNeed Massager

This thing may be the best invention, ever. You don’t need to strap it to a chair, you can just put it behind you on the couch and lean on it. You can also sit on it – and you can give yourself a foot massage with it. Sitting on it may sound weird, but when I was pregnant I had all sorts of sciatic pain and this helped A LOT. This is not a wimpy massager – it actually gets in there and does the work.

French Macaroons

These are generally crazy expensive for cookies. But think about the amount of money a pregnant person saves by not drinking all year. Cocktails are expensive. This savings should be made up to them in fancy food.

 World’s Best Mac and Cheese

World’s Best Mac and Cheese – that is this food’s official name. Oh my God, look at it. It’s crazy expensive for mac and cheese, but see French macaroon reasoning above. Pregnant ladies get to eat expensive food all the time. It’s only fair.

Buddha Bling

She looks like a glorious Buddha, so why not get her some Buddha bling? If Buddha isn’t your thing, there are plenty of other cool rings on this site. Everyone loves jewelry, right?

Body Butter

Body butter is amazing. I like buying this for pregnant women and avoiding the whole ant–stretch mark cream bs marketing. This is a gift to make her feel good, not freak her out by the possibility the human she’s creating may cause some stretch marks.

You Are Beautiful

Five dollars gets you 20 stickers that you can stick in random places around the house and make her smile. This may be my favorite thing on the list.