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Jennifer Garner may be associated with happy marriage and family life as she is now expecting her third baby with husband Ben Affleck. But Jennifer did a walk down memory lane with The Sun and said that she regrets getting married so young the first time around to then-husband Scott Foley.
The soon to be mommy-of-three told the publication:
“I wish I’d known to wait for marriage until I was 30 or over. I did marry in my twenties and I found divorce a crushing experience.”
Jennifer was 28 when she married Scott, and the pair then divorced four years later in 2004. There may have been no children in that union, but Jennifer says that she was “beyond heartbroken” when the marriage ended.
Nevertheless, she also adds:
“But I got up and got on with it. I also kept my belief in marriage.”
Such a resilient belief is no doubt present in Jennifer’s adorable growing family with husband Ben Affleck, revealing that even a wholesome family women and dedicated mother like Jennifer can misstep, marry too young, make a mistake and still find her way to motherhood — provided that marriage and motherhood are what she ultimately wants for herself.
(photo: WENN)
I agree that it has less to do with age (to a point) and more to do with the two individuals involved. If the partners just aren’t compatible for life, then it won’t work, no matter how old or experienced they are.
what?! 28 is young???? give me a friggin break!!!!!
i was 22 and married and am STILLL married 18 yrs!!!!
3 kids
LOVE my husband, he loves me, we were MUCh younger.
sorry- just bugged me….
That’s funny, my mom told me that she shouldn’t have gotten married so young. Married my dad right out of high school (he was a year ahead of her) and 4 kids and 22 years later, apparently it just wasn’t a decision she wanted to live with anymore. Or the fact that her boss, whom she was having an affair with, made lots of money and she is now living the life she apparently always wanted.
Young or old, being with the right person is what matters. You can try all you want but if the other person has issues from their past or family it is really hard to overcome. Many stay in a marriage because they do not want to be divorced. They want to make it work. But, being with someone who drains you with their needs or attitudes is exhausting. It does not allow you to be all you can be. This is a problem for many women and men. A partner who is a taker and always want more than they give is tough to deal with. Whether that is in time, energy, effort, taking care of children, home, parents, etc. We all deserve someone who celebrates the best of who we are, and is gentle with criticism when we need improvement. But, many people are too wrapped up in what is wrong with themselves or their family to be helpful to a partner.
90 days ago
[...] sanctioned or not — doesn’t always endure, unfortunately. Some may regret marrying too young or, to the outside, may appear to call it quits much too early. But to those who are putting [...]
Get your facts right! She was 28 years old, NOT 22 years old when she married Scott Foley. Jennifer was born in 1972 and wed in 2000.
28 is not a “young wife” by any stretch of the imagination.
Hi Lila. The cited source previously had Jennifer cited as 22 years old when she married Scott. They’ve since amended their coverage and we have changed ours. Thanks for pointing out!
I regret marrying THE WRONG PERSON at twenty-one. See, it wasn’t my age, but my piss-poor abilities in mate selection to blame.
I also find all the people commenting about their happy marriages and “giving up easily” a bit offensive. Good marriages don’t end in divorce. I was married for almost ten years. I put up with things I never should have and I’m not a better person for it. I would have been a better person to walk away before I had not only a broken marriage but a broken spirit.
Congratulations to those who chose wisely and have worked hard (I’m not saying good marriages are easy marriages) to maintain a happy, healthy relationship. You haven’t been where divorced people have been. Our cultural tendency to shame divorce like this keeps people in bad situations, married to people they shouldn’t have been married to in the first place as if divorce is giving up on something.
I fully appreciate your point of view. I replied below, but wasn’t trying to insinuate that people should never get divorced. My parents divorced after 25 years together and trust me, it was something my sister and I were begging for them to do for the last 15 years. Obviously not everything is going to work out. All I was trying to say that I don’t think people exhaust all efforts to better their marriage before throwing in the towel. I hate to use celebrities as examples, but holy cow, a 14 month marriage (Katy Perry)?! I don’t think that there was time or effort there to save it, at least not in the very small time they were married. Time didn’t permit exhaustive means. And I adore Jennifer Garner, but a 4 year marriage? I just don’t see how either of them truly tried.
Sorry your young marriage ended in divorce and that he was Mr. Wrong….but wow, you tried! You tried for a decade! I think that proves you gave it your all and though it was likely painful, it shows a massive amount of maturity which I think is a main component missing from all of these short-term marriages.
Amanda: No personal disrespect to you, but I don’t personally know anyone who got divorced who shouldn’t have gotten divorced. People don’t take it lightly and it’s hard but better than sticking around because you “ought” to work at it. Sure, some issues can be worked out, skills built, and outside help sought, but it is no one’s place to judge how much time is too much time or what measures ought to be taken before filing for the big D. Staying together because you weren’t mature enough to get married when you got married is a faulty logic. Sounds less like respect for marriage than using it to punish those who make mistakes. You mention a four year marriage. What I wouldn’t give to get six years of my twenties back?
As for me, I didn’t stay because I was nobly working on a relationship. I was living a life of quiet desperation, trudging on, because, hey, it wasn’t all bad, he wasn’t all bad, and it’s what I signed up for when I took vows, right? In the end, he left to be with a woman he knew in high school (grass is greener syndrome) and I had a nervous breakdown. Believe or not, we actually talked seriously about working it out afterwards and it was I who finally put down the final “no” and ended even the possibility of friendly contact. Down to the day, over a year after he left, we went to court, it was the hardest thing I have ever experienced, but infinitely better than what I lived with in my marriage.
I love my life now. I’ve worked hard to rebuild a life I never planned on: divorced at thirty. Lest you think I’m bitter, I’ve met the love of my life and am truly happy for the first time in my adult life. If I’d had any idea how good a relationship could be, I’d never have married the ex in the first place.
She shouldn’t have cheated on her first husband, then, if she found divorce such a “crushing experience” and “beyond heartbroken”. Her very public affair with her then-costar from “Alias” was all over the news. They were very indiscreet. What did she think was going to happen when her then-husband found out??
to begin with, Scott was pissed at her success and wanted her to quit Alias but she didn’t. She filed for divorce in May of 2003 but it didn’t go through until the following year. She started Dating Michael Vartan in the later half of 2003.
So if you call dating after filing a divorce cheating then WOW.
Also: And although Garner is now enjoying a romance with her Alias co-star Michael Vartan, Foley, 31, is eager to point out infidelity was never a factor.”
May want to get the facts right before you attempt to smear her name.
Married at 19, just celebrated 50 years together… 2 kids later….5 grandkids later…..we are going back to Paris to celebrate our anniversary….we went there when we married…he was in the military in Germany when we married…I ran away from home and we married there. It has been easy……just remember…honesty and be faithful..it matters.
Married at 20. 20 years later, we still couldn’t be happier. So it can work.
But I think it really depends on who you are, what your expectations were going in, and how much work you’re willing to put into it. People rush in, marry for the wrong reasons, or *are* just too immature to make that committment. That can happen at any age.
Young marriage is definitely not for the faint of heart. And unfortunately these days, I believe a lot of people are throwing in the towel without any genuine effort to salvage their marriages. I eloped at 21 (he was 23) and am happy still with my husband 9 years later, though it hasn’t always been easy. We both served in the military and endured several deployments away from each other. He saw me through college afterward and now he is currently finishing his degree. I consider us fortunate that we were able to use those experiences to grow together rather than to grow apart. Furthermore, we waited a long, LONG time to have start our family (our son is 1). I think waiting for children helped tremendously. Also, I really think the key is elbow grease and don’t give up until every effort has been exhausted. Nothing worthwhile comes easy; young or old.