The Thought Of The Family Bed Makes Me Want To Punch My Kid In The Head

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The family bed is the exact opposite of how we function in my family. I have literally never slept with either of my children, not even a nap. I have nothing against the concept of the family bed and attachment parenting, but I do have uncontrollable fear fantasies triggered by the relentless SIDS campaign.

I’m also a very light, picky sleeper. If my husband even gets close to me on my side of the king bed, I kick him hard in the leg, while I pretend that I am still sleeping. I’ve got Jimmy Legs when I sleep, what can I say?

The thought of a baby in a bed with me… It just would never work. I love sweet, fat, rolly little babies, but I don’t want them rolling all up on me in the middle of the night. From the very first day that both of my kids were born, they were put into a separate bassinet or crib. I gave birth in a birthing center and at home, so my kids were both at home right after birth.

I know it is a huge pain to get up in the middle of the night and feed a baby, after which you have to lull yourself back to sleep. During that initial six-month period with multiple night wakings, I was a nervous wreck. We kept both of our kids in a separate room, and after waking up to feed on my shift, it took 20 minutes to an hour to get back to sleep. It was the worst.

I don’t know if a family bed would have been better for us because I never tried it. I can only imagine from what I have read online that the space sharing would have kept me up even more in the night—I would have been afraid to move or even roll over in fear of waking or smushing a baby.

And then there’s the issue that some parents talk about: Kids that enter your bed and refuse to ever leave. I’m sure that in the future one of our sons will want to sleep in our bed if he has a nightmare, and I’m perfectly okay with that (I think).

All I can say is that for now, with two kids under two, I’m happy with the way everything went down. I never allowed my babies in my bed because I’m a sweaty, selfish sleeper. Now both kids are sleeping well through the night in their own cribs, and I’m going to enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

(Image: Deklofenak/Shutterstock)