A Day In The Life Of My ‘Baby Moon’

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What Is A Babymoon I’m currently on my so-called “Baby Moon.” While this term can mean a trip you take BEFORE baby comes (dammit, I really should’ve squeezed in that one), it can also describe the period of time after baby is born in which you swoon over your brand new infant child all day, every day until you have to (at some point, ugh) start assimilating back into the real world. It could take weeks or months until you feel ready and I’m sure it varies from one postpartum mama to the next. But personally, I decided to take my second postpartum stint as slow as humanly possible, soak in the “babymooning” and just be easy with myself.


This is important primarily for two reasons. 1) I have no idea what else to do and really can’t handle much more than the swoon fests (in between nursings and burpings and diaper blowouts and being generally ill-rested) and 2) I really do like my new baby a whole, whole lot. Most of these days look the same and they are kind of starting to blend together. And while I am certainly loving up this new person as much as I possibly can, I can’t help but think the term “baby moon” doesn’t always seem to fit with the intensity of the nonstopness that is taking care of a newborn baby human.


Here is what my baby-moon looks like on any given day.


5:33 AM- Jolt awake as if there’s an earthquake at baby’s first hungry cry. Pull his tiny body into bed and attempt to nurse side-lying so I don’t have to sit up because it’s too damn early and wasn’t I like… JUST awake?


5:35 AM- Baby is frustrated and struggling to latch. Search frantically for the boppy pillow.


5:38 AM- Find boppy pillow under my legs since I’ve been sleeping with it, pregnancy-style because my body still feels just a little bit pregnant. Sit up and attempt to sleep-nurse.


5:54 AM- Realize baby is asleep and breathe a sigh of relief. High-five myself in celebration and attempt to gently move him off my chest so I can catch a few more nods.


5:55 AM- Baby immediately wakes the second we are not making full body contact, fusses and wants to nurse again. Attempt sleep-nursing once more.


6:02 AM- Baby is milk-drunk. Hug and roll. Cuddle and rest while making sure I don’t suffocate baby with my huge nursing breasts but let’s face it, I won’t because I’m not really sleeping since I know big sis is coming in any….


6:03 AM- Annnnd there she is. Big sissy’s door slams open and she’s in the bed in four seconds flat. Baby is asleep. Big sis is not.


6:10 AM- Try to be super sweet and snuggly to big sis who is in the midst of a huge life adjustment, but mostly be annoyed that her feet are pressed up against my legs so hard I’m practically falling off the bed.


6:17 AM- Beg my husband to take big sis downstairs and put on JUST ONE show on netflix for her so I can sleep for 22 more glorious minutes.


7:01 AM- Wake briefly to hear the intro to “Strawberry Shortcake” for the third time. Feel guilty for 30 seconds before falling back asleep.


7:23 AM- Baby wakes at precisely the same time as big sis is climbing back in the bed. Nurse the baby while a four year old who suddenly seems MONSTROUS climbs on my shoulders and beg her 47 times to be gentle before using my frantic, exhausted please-for-the-love-of-God-let-me-nurse-the-baby-in-peace voice (which is pretty much now just my regular voice).


7:40 AM- Husband leaves. COFFEE.


7:43 AM- Diaper blow-out. Change the baby while big sis “helps” aka throws wipes at me, gets poop in her hair, insists on getting in the tub and taking a bath. Realize it’s actually a pretty damn good idea because ‘um, did we even bathe her this week? Did anyone bathe this week?’


8:13 AM- Reheat coffee.


8:14 AM-10:45 AM- Cluster-feed baby while throwing out distractions to big sis that get more and more desperate like “hey! where’s that new book from the library? Hey, how about you be the pirate! HEY… want to go paint your nails? Sure, you can use the grown up kind! HEY!!! The halloween candy is hidden on the top shelf, go for it!!”


11:18 AM- Baby is snoozing hard in his swing. Maybe this one won’t be a cat nap. Splash water on my face, look in the mirror and promise to give big sis my undivided attention until baby wakes.


11:22 AM- Fully commit to playing “doctor”. Lie down to be the patient and promptly fall asleep for 18 seconds until I am once again jolted awake by “MAMA, you’re playing it wrong!” Apologize profusely for being “just a little sleepy” and vow to do better.


11:23 AM- Hear giant fart sounds coming from the baby swing and watch a poop stream run onto the super new, super awesome rug that was really, really stupid to buy before the kids turned like 13 and 17. Think we really need to invest in some smaller, newborn-sized diapers.


11:48 AM- Make PB&Js, one-handed, obv. Stuff my face over the sink while doing the “baby needs to be constantly moving to chill the fuck out” dance and think about how cliche it is to be another mom eating over the sink but it really just makes so much fucking sense.


12:00 PM- Nurse baby while big sissy takes a poop. No less than two minutes in hear “HELP! I NEED A WIPE!” Promptly pull baby off my nip remembering what happened last time when I asked her to wait a minute and the bathroom became a literal SHITSTORM. Baby is screaming bloody murder, but it’s definitely the lesser of two evils.

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