Pop Culture

10 Movies That Look Totally Different Now That You’re A Parent

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6. Dirty Dancing

Then: Aww, look, little Baby is coming of age on vacation and hanging around the hotel staff. Now: Holy f—ing sh–, imagine your teenage daughter is sleeping with the guy who’s paid to romance old ladies and may or may not have knocked up his dance partner, forcing her into an illegal abortion. That’s it. My kids are never leaving the house from age 13-18.

 

7. Pride and Prejudice

I used to be able to laugh at silly old Mrs. Bennet and her wish to marry off her daughters to any and every gentleman in town. Now I understand her worries: She’s just looking out for herself and her family, who will be out on the street if her husband croaks thanks to stupid patriarchal laws. Jane Austen is way harsh on the poor mother.

 

8. Anna Karenina

Abandoning a loveless marriage for a handsome young soldier? Sounds exciting. Abandoning your young son and baby for this loser? That’s sounding less attractive. (SPOILER) Then there’s the whole suicide thing. God, that lady is a monster.

 

9. The Little Mermaid 

As a girl, I saw Ariel break out of her restrictive home to explore the world she always dreamed of and pursue the love of her life. As a parent, I’m horrified at the thought of my babies one day leaving home, becoming a different species and never even being able to visit us again, due to the whole breathing underwater problem.

 

10. Kill Bill Vols. 1 and 2

The Bride’s superhero determination to kill the assassination squad leader who tried to have her murdered seemed like a typical Tarantino-esque fantasy. And yet, now when I picture knowing that man was the father of my baby, and that he’s been raising her while I was in a coma … hells yeah, I’d like to be able to dig myself out of being buried alive and five-point-palm-explode his heart. If only!

Which movies have changed for you since becoming a parent?

(photo: Karramba Production/ Shutterstock)

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