Itâ€™s OK To Feel Angry About Unwanted Baby Gifts, But You Still Have To Say Thank You
If the unwanted baby gifts are egregiously awful or inappropriate, youâ€™re allowed to gripe to your partner or email your best friend. But as much as you might want to, it is not appropriate to throw stuff at your mother-in-law for giving you a baby sweater that is the wrong color, which is where the girlfriend of one Redditor seems to be heading.
In the Reddit thread, one user says that his mother knit a sweater for their soon-to-be-born son, but his girlfriend thinks it is hideous. Not only does she not like it, she is actively angry that her partnerâ€™s mother would make it without asking them to approve the pattern first. He wrote:
â€œI’m not much of a fashion guy myself, I have to say, but I’m sure my moms sweater is perfectly fine. GF says that this will probably be a continous problem throughout the years when my mom does these things, but she only does it of good heart and I’m glad to see her knit and be creative again!â€
I understand freaking out over gifts. I really do. At a certain point in my third trimester I was having regular silent sobbing fits in the bathroom because I was getting gifts I didnâ€™t ask for in colors I didnâ€™t like, and some dark part of my lizard brain was interpreting them as a willful usurping of my authority as a mother. I was convinced that opening every frilly pink dress was like unwrapping 15 years of family drama with a bow on it.
Luckily none of those thoughts came out of the bathroom with me, because I would have sounded like a crazy, ungrateful brat.
All of our situations are unique, but for me the problem went away when I told myself: â€œYou donâ€™t have to use them.â€ If I were that Redditorâ€™s partner, hearing, â€œYou donâ€™t have to use itâ€ would go a long way towards making me feel better about the unwanted sweater.
In my case, I was upset because I felt like I was being silenced by gifts. For example, I thought I had received too many baby clothes to be able to buy any of my own choosing, but that was dumb. I went and bought myself one pack of onesies that I picked out and instantly felt better. Who cares if the kid has a few too many onesies? I just needed to feel like I was in control of the situation. (While eight months pregnant, it is very easy to feel like one is not in control of anything.)