This Teen Singing Happy Birthday to His Friend Is Terrifying

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(Twitter / @curvables)

I was always jealous of the kids who had birthdays during the school year. They got lots of attention, special treatment, and everyone would sing to them. But after seeing this video of a teenager singing  — and I use the word “singing” loosely — Happy Birthday to his friend, I am suddenly very grateful I was born at the end of June.

Last week, Texas teen Jacob Torgeson celebrated his 18th birthday, and he asked his best buddy Andrew Chlamon to sing to him in their economics class. Andrew treated Jacob and their fellow classmates to…this:

What the…it’s like Satan himself is coming out of that kid’s mouth. I guess this officially makes me an old person, because I literally reached for pearls and holy water when I watched this.

The good news is that Jacob was happy with Andrew’s rendition of Happy Birthday, and that’s what matters. I hope that when it’s Andrew’s birthday, Jacob gifts him with some throat lozenges, because I’m very concerned about the damage he’s inflicting on his vocal chords.