Childrearing

Foul-Mouthed Baby Doll Teaches Toddler To Say ‘Eff It’

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9k=One of my main parenting fantasies is to be one of those couples whose kid winds up in possession of a hilariously inappropriate toy, like the people with the satanic giraffe, or Katie Holmes that time Suri picked up a package of gummy penises at the candy store. The closest I’ve ever come is that time in college when I had a Furby that kept saying “Keyser Soze,” but one British family has hit the ironic toy jackpot with a cuddly pink baby doll that says, “Fuck it!” Unfortunately, they’re not as happy about it as I would be.

According to The Daily Mail, Anthony Burridge and Sarah Williams bought a pink baby doll for their daughter Emily. The My Little Baby Born Nappy Time Doll has diapers that kids can change and is supposed to make babbling sounds like a real baby. Instead of babbling, however, Emily’s parents say the doll sings, “Fuck, fuck, fuck it.”

Emily’s parents recorded a video of the doll singing, and they do have a point. The voice is a little hard to make out at first, but once you listen to it, it really does sound like a slightly drunk woman singing, “Fuck, fuck, fuck it. Fuck, fuck, fuck iiiiiiiit” in a dreamy, bluesy voice.

Of course, Emily is a 2-year-old, which means she is basically a little blonde sponge, and her parents say she instantly started repeating the doll’s words as soon as she heard them. Now her parents say she says “fuck it,” every day.

“We’ve had to take it away from her but it is too late. Emily is only two but already copying the doll,” Emily’s mother said. “She keeps saying ‘f*** it’ – I don’t know how to stop her.”

Why are kids like that? You sing the alphabet song 100 times a day and they still don’t know their ABCs, but you say, “Fuck!” once and it’s their favorite word for life, especially in front of grandma. If Emily’s parents don’t want the doll, I will buy it off them. That way I would have plausible deniability when my baby starts swearing and everyone just assumes she learned it from me.

Zapf creations, which makes the toy, insists the doll is saying nothing of the sort.

“With the aim of teaching young children about nappy changing, my little BABY born Nappy Time only makes ‘baby babble’ sounds and does not say any actual words,” a spokesperson said. “We apologize if any customers feel that this babble resembles anything inappropriate.”

You can watch the doll babble in this video. It’s faint, but I swear I can hear it. What do you think?

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekdJ3t0hI6g]

(Photo: Amazon)