STFU Parents: Woe Is Mom

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Sometimes people can’t help but complain on Facebook. Although I like to believe the social networking site is all about sharing stories, news items and significant events with friends, many people use it as a platform to throw themselves pity parties. And while I think it would be difficult to find a person who hasn’t ever complained on Facebook before (about traffic, work stress or simply having a bad day), there’s one type of person out there whose complaining doesn’t get much pity from me: the Woe Is Mom.

Woe Is Mom is a category that I started on STFU, Parents after receiving dozens of submissions about parents complaining. Sometimes the complaining is about something serious, but mostly it’s about frivolous stuff, like how to walk the right way in the grocery store. According to this type of mom, life is SO. HARD. Even the most minute of problems can seem monumentally important when you’re a Woe Is Mom. Or, perhaps you’re struggling with something truly difficult and choose to bring it up at a time that’s inappropriate in order to gain sympathy. Whatever the reason, my recommendation is to keep those complaints confined to personal blogs, topical forums or person-to-person chats. Let’s take a look at some examples of Woe Is Mom to know how not to complain, or what not to complain about, on Facebook:

1. Nap Time

If there’s one thing a Woe Is Mom likes to complain about, it’s nap time. This is by far the most common complaint I see from moms on Facebook. And while I totally understand why nap time is crucial, I also think the FedEx (or UPS) man is just doing his job by driving to people’s homes, ringing their doorbells, and then either leaving or taking their package depending on whether it requires sign-off. That’s actually ALL that the FedEx delivery man (or woman) does, and he does it because you, the Woe Is Mom, ordered something. If you really don’t want to be bothered in the afternoon, put one of those signs on the door that indicates NOT to ring the doorbell. Otherwise, quit griping.

2. The MommyJacking Bubble Burster

Hey, mommies: Don’t rain on someone’s parade or hijack their status update to offer veiled “advice” as an attempt to bring the conversation around to you problems. It doesn’t sound supportive or complimentary to tell someone to “ENJOY” her energy level now “while she can.” It just sounds self-centered.

3. First World Problems

This was found on the Starbucks Facebook Page. I can’t speak for Starbucks, but I’m guessing this isn’t what the company had in mind when it set up its fan page. Not that this parent makes any claims that are untrue – one $5 drink is in fact more than a gallon of gas – but hey, we all struggle with our urges to drink fancy, fattening, specialty coffee drinks. It’s not cheap no matter who you are. Asking for something for free simply because you’re a mom who can’t afford to indulge in a white chocolate mocha more than once every couple of weeks is obnoxious.

4. The MommyJacking Depressive

I feel for this mommyjacker, but I also think she’d be better off channeling her frustrations elsewhere. Her comment is unrelated to the original status update, which was actually rather sweet, and it really changed the mood of the whole update. Sadjacking is not a good habit, especially when you’re kind of passive-aggressively making a friend feel bad that her children don’t suffer from a disease like yours does. Stick to forum boards and therapy, Pink.

5. Whine-a-palooza

I’m having a hard time understand what Wendi is complaining about, but one thing’s for sure: Her life isn’t as hard as she thinks it is. Unless of course you factor in that she apparently brought some problems onto herself by sticking a CD with a label into her computer disc drive. Other than that, which sounds like a minor pain in the ass, I’m at a loss. “Can’t go back from b&w to color”? Oh, Woe Is Mom, indeed.