8 Signs Your Only Child Needs A Sibling ASAP

Having an only child can be awesome. You don’t have to worry about preparing an army for battle every morning, and traveling is a breeze. But there are definite downsides as well. Loneliness, boredom and YOU never get a break. At least with multiple kids they can be off beating each other up while you get to pee in peace. I mean, sure there will be more diapers, food costs, and possible episiotomies, but hey, babies are cute as hell. And in this helicopter parenting world, it’s not about what YOU want, but about how much more spoiled your kids are than the next family. Isn’t that what’s really important? Here are 10 signs that your child needs a brother or sister ASAP.

8. Their imaginary friend is creeping you out

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When your kid’s imaginary buddy becomes less like Drop Dead Fred and more like The Shining, it might be time to toss that birth control.

7. You catch your kid putting Spanish fly in your morning coffee

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And they suddenly develop a taste for oysters…but only if you eat them too.

6. You suspect your child is poking holes in your condoms

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“Why are there safety pins next to the condom drawer?”

5. The library stops your tween from borrowing “The Joy Of Sex”

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The one where everyone is hairy, too.

4. Your child asks “Where do babies come from…”

Or they just send you this Gif, titled “Instructions.” (Giphy.com)

…and when you answer they say “Well, then GET TO IT, WOMAN!”

3. They go on a “sibling hunger strike”

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I mean, it’s nice to save grocery money, but this is ridiculous.

2. You find a romantic rose petal and Barry White music situation in your bedroom…

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…and neither you nor your partner set it up.

1. Your child randomly brings home baby clothes

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“Where is he getting this stuff?”

(Photo: Ollyy/Shutterstock)