I know most of us have been in situations with annoying people when later that night we say, ”Oh I should have said that as a comeback!” My biggest regret in the last three weeks is that I did not pull out my iPhone and tape the absolutely fascinating and entertaining school pick up road rage that I saw outside my daughter’s school.
If I had taped it, I would have probably put it on YouTube, because it was by far the most amazing incident I’ve seen as a mother. The fight did not involve kids. It involved two mothers. At my daughter’s private school, you pick up your child through a roundabout driveway. There are two staff members there who help your children get in the back seat of your car — but you have to time the pick up correctly.
For example, my daughter gets out of school at 3:30 p.m. I always pick her up at 3:40 p.m. because I know she’s not going to make it out front of the school until then. If you drive through the roundabout and your kid is not outside, you are forced to drive around again and get in line with the 20 plus other cars.
We all know about road rage, but for the first time I witnessed PICK UP ROAD RAGE.
I was in line, about five cars back, to drive through the roundabout when I saw two mothers get out of their cars and start screaming at each other. This was so awesome for so many reasons. First, they were both beautiful women, with their hair done and their make up perfect, wearing skinny jeans and designer boots. They also both drove Range Rovers. There’s nothing like seeing two grown, beautiful, Range-Rover driving women get into a full on fight in front of other parents.
What happened was that Ranger Rover Driver #1 parked her car on the street right before you enter the roundabout. So, not only was she holding up a line up of about 20 cars, but from behind you couldn’t tell if she was waiting to drive in the roundabout or if she was parked. Finally, Range Rover driver #2, who was right behind her, figured out she was just parked there and tried to drive around her. In doing so, she sideswiped Range Rover #1’s car. Which then caused the ultimate fight and also a huge problem for everyone else waiting to pick up our daughters.
They literally both got out of their cars, now parked beside each other, blocking the entire street, and started screaming at each other. It was like an episode of the Real Housewives (yes, I do watch) where people are screaming at each other, while you are thinking, ”CRAZY BITCHES!”
After about 15 minutes of watching this, I finally had enough. I honked my horn and screamed out my window, ”Can you figure your shit out somewhere else, so we can get in?”
People cheered for me! Finally, they moved their cars off to the side to discuss, I suppose, who was responsible for the minor sideswipe accident. Everyone I know who drives a Range Rover (including two of my best friends who are the nicest women you’ll ever meet) still feel some sort of entitlement when they are driving these cars, like they are the only ones on the road.
As I was slowly inching up to the roundabout, one parent drove past me.
”What happened?” I asked, rolling down my window.
She explained that Range Rover driver #1 ALWAYS parks there, causing problems for every other parent. I immediately sided with her, mostly because she wasn’t driving a Range Rover.
My friends were fascinated when I told them this story. Many of their children go to private schools and have been at the wrath of other mothers yelling at them to ”MOVE THEIR CARS!” And staff of the school’s are just as vicious when they see you parked for more than 10 minutes at these other schools.
”I can’t tell you how many times teachers have yelled at me to move my car and I refuse. They threaten to write me up,” my friend laughed. ”Sorry, I’m paying $20,000 for each of my three children to go to the school so they can fuck off.”
So, forget about road rage on the streets of New York or Los Angeles or Toronto. The biggest road rage incident I have ever seen is at pick up time at my daughter’s school.