I’m Not A Doctor, But Sticking A Potato In Your Vagina For Contraception Seems Like A Horrible Idea

It is a terrifying day when an adult woman’s ignorance about safe sex and contraception is not the scariest thing about this story of a woman who thought potatoes were effective means of contraception. Nope. The scariest thing about this story is that she stuck one in her vagina and it actually put down roots and started growing. We are living in a horror movie, and I am never going to look at potatoes the same way again.

According to Jezebel, a 22-year-old woman in Colombia went to the hospital complaining of abdominal pains, and doctors found that a potato wedged in her vagina had put down roots and started to grow there. Apparently her mother told her that a potato in the vagina would prevent pregnancy, so she put one in there and left it inside her body for two weeks. Potatoes like to grow in dark, moist environments, so … yeah.

Luckily the potato and its roots were able to be removed from her vagina without surgery, but it’s pretty disturbing that a 22-year-old woman thought a potato would be a safe and effective means of preventing pregnancy when condoms and contraceptive pills exist.

The main takeaway from this story is that young people need sex education and access to real contraceptives, like condoms. The secondary takeaway is that potatoes are evil and need to be destroyed before they set down roots in our uteri. I suggest mashing them, but boiling in oil would also be a fitting punishment.

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