10 Things Your Kids Steal From You

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I have two younger brothers. Growing up, this meant that most of my possessions were safe because, girl stuff. However, there were still items I had to guard with my life and I can remember thinking that I could not WAIT to be an adult so I could stop worrying about people I live with snatching my stuff without permission. Little did I know, my brothers were going easy on me. Since my daughter was a toddler, I have had so much crap go missing in my house and it makes me nuts.

I swear I am raising them right but for some reason, my kids are little criminals. They steal from me. I know their intent is innocent, but it’s so annoying. Every time I turn around, my shit is missing. In talking with other moms, I have come to find out that I am not alone and that it would seem certain things have universal appeal to our tiny thieves. Check out the list below and see if you can relate. If there are weird things your kid steals, please share with the group.

1. Chapsticks

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Just the other day, I bought a spanking new Chapstick to leave on my nightstand. I realized on this particular Target trip that I have probably bought at least 20 Chapsticks over the last year and every single one has needed replacing because it goes missing. This morning, I found my new one in my son’s room- destroyed. WHY do kids love Chapstick so much!?

2. Note Pads And Pens

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Dear God, I am tired of making grocery lists on the backs of receipts. Every time I get a new pad of paper, either from some charity in the mail or from an actual purchase, my kids steal it and turn it into a scribble pad. I even wrote a list on a panty liner once- no joke.

3. Gum

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I try to hide my gum because my kids are addicted and also, because it often falls out of their mouths and ends up stuck to shit. The other day, I covertly slipped a piece in my mouth while blasting the car radio hoping they wouldn’t hear the crinkle of the wrapper and within a minute, my son goes “MOMMY…I smell minty. Do you have gum?!” JESUS CHRIST! Let me have my gum!

4. Tape

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I can’t even tell you the last time I found a roll of tape in my house because the kids take it and squirrel it away to parts unknown whenever I bring any home from the store. Why do kids need so much tape?!

5. Cell Phones

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At least on this one, I have a fingerprint thingie and passcode so they can’t actually use it but they still make off with my phone now and then to play pretend or whatever. I KNOW I’m not alone here. Kids freaking love cell phones.

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