Childrearing

Anonymous Mom: I Owe The Parents Of The Kid Who Bit My Son An Apology

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While I am not excusing the boy’s actions, or saying that what he did was OK, I have a different perspective as to what might have made him do such a thing. I do believe an apology was in order, and I am glad the boy is seeking treatment for whatever underlying issues he is currently dealing with. I also hope it helps him not lash out at any other children in the future. But really, I just hope that whatever is causing this boy to act out gets resolved. Or that he learns a way to channel any anger or frustration he may have in a more conducive way, so as not to hurt other kids.

The boy ultimately did write my son an apology letter. It was well written and was obviously done with the assistance of the parents.

And now I feel like maybe I owe those parents an apology. For jumping to conclusions. For my immediate blame and distrust of them as “bad” parents. For not thinking of what might be the underlying cause of the action taken by their son.

Next time I see or hear of a child doing something wrong, whether he injures my child or someone else’s, I will stop for a moment. Before the rage kicks in, I will think. Think about the parents on the other side of the situation. Think about how I would feel if my child was going through something difficult and started acting out. Because the truth is, no matter how hard we try to be the best parents we can, none of us are immune to our children acting out. Or just making mistakes. Or doing something stupid and hurtful. And I would like to think that I would get the same amount of understanding from another parent should one of my kids make a mistake or do something hurtful to their child.

Parenting is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done in my entire life. And I took an extremely difficult bar exam, which I thought was one of the hardest things ever. But that was cake compared to the landmines that parents have to walk around every single day in order to try to shape and form good, decent people. We’re all trying to watch our step so that we don’t get blown to bits.

It’s something that we all have to realize as we go through this often confusing, infuriating and hurtful life. Let’s all try to make it just a little bit easier on each other by being kind and forgiving, and maybe just a little less judgmental of other parents.

I was absolutely guilty of making a snap decision, and for that I am sorry. In the future, I will definitely try to think about what might be happening on the other side before instantly jumping to anger and retribution. At least, I’m going to try my best. And I hope that others will do the same.

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(photo: Sam72 / Shutterstock)

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