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The Miracle Of Birth May Have Convinced Kanye To Propose

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shutterstock_107798468 (1)__1372008138_142.196.156.251Well, maybe not – but it’s pretty coincidental that Kanye West allegedly proposed to Kim Kardashian days after witnessing her give birth to their child, North. I’m not surprised. My husband looked at me like a was a superwoman in the moments after the birth of our children. Clearly, Kanye took one look at Kim in all of her birthing awesomeness and then looked at their awesome baby and thought, We are now the triumvirate of awesome. We must wed.

I wonder how Kim feels about it though? Nothing gets you in the mood to commit for all of eternity like a sex scandal. Days before Kim went into labor the news that Kanye had an affair with a Canadian model was everywhere. Thank God North came early to trump that news! And thank God that Kim doesn’t really believe in wedding for all of eternity anyway. I bet Canadian Swimsuit Model Leyla Ghobadi is pissed that the baby stole her fire. Babies ruin everything!

So, we have a sex scandal and then a five-week-early rush to labor and delivery. Kim is obviously wiped. Can she really be expected to make important decisions – like who she will spend the rest of her life with – at a time like this? The rumored $500,000 black diamond she got as a push present probably helped butter her up – but who knows?

Her hormones are plummeting, unless she’s had the famed Hollywood post-birth tummy tuck her abdomen is looking like something she’s never seen before, and Kanye is probably annoying the shit out of her. Oh, am I the only one who’s annoyed as shit at her husband after the birth of a child? Okay. Well, it’s annoying to see someone visibly looking at the clock and counting down the days that he’s going to have to continue to do all of the hard labor and litter box cleaning. I guess that probably doesn’t happen to famous rich people. They never have to do their own hard labor and litter box cleaning.

I hope this isn’t just a rumor. Can you imagine what their wedding outfits will look like? Oh, please let this ceremony happen – live on Keeping Up With The Kardashians.  I desperately need something to DVR. Kanye’s quotes in that amazing NY Times article are only going to last me for so long. Can you imagine how incredible his vows will be?

I’m giddy.

(photo: Joe Seer/ Shutterstock)