I don’t want to get all sanctimommy on these Halloween pumpkins, but there is just so much to be judgey about, because I don’t see a married pumpkin in the bunch here. Granted, maybe they are all hanging out in a patch somewhere, smoking cigars and planning for the day that they can all be coaching their little pumpkins baseball teams, but whatever happened to men pumpkins being present at the birth? I have NO idea. Here are 10 pumpkins who just couldn’t keep their damn legs together and got themselves all knocked up.
(Image: Birth takes a village)
I for real saw this on one website where the website owner seriously covered this pumpkin’s “breasts” and put censored signs over them. HAHA! Cover up those pumpkin breasts!
Happy And Proud To Be A Single Mom Pumpkin
(Image: GF Brigitte on Deviant Art)
Water Birth Pumpkin
Where is her doula and her birthing partner?
Happily, it looks like her home water birth came out okay despite being all alone.
(Image: Stand and Deliver)
The Miracle of Life Pumpkin
This pumpkin obviously had a natural childbirth, because she looks like she is in a lot of pain.
Surprise Birth Pumpkin
(Image: 1st class sleep)
This pumpkin didn’t know she was pregnant, she just thought she was gaining weight for no reason.
Knocked Up After One Night Stand Pumpkin
Curse you whatever your name was!
(Image: Genius Beauty)
There Goes My Scheduled C-Section Pumpkin
This pumpkin is furious because she wanted a C-section because she didn’t want to “ruin her (pumpkin) body.” But then her water broke and messed everything up.
Manicure, Blow-Out, Fake Eyelashes Pumpkin
This pumpkin wanted to look perfect during delivery so she could share the photos on Facebook.
Beauty Queen Pumpkin
(Image: I am bored)
This pumpkin had sex with one of the judges during the Miss Patch contest, in order for her to win the title. She never saw him again, but she still dons her evening gown and sings ” Wind Beneath My Wings” in her bathroom mirror, despite being nine months pregnant.
Emergency P-Section Pumpkin
The baby came early! But mom and baby are doing fine!
And last but not least, this is what all these pumpkin moms ended up with because they just didn’t use birth control.