being a mom

Thanks Goodness Someone Has Invented A Bottle Feeding Bib So Babies Can Feed Themselves!

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Parents, is there anything worse than actually having to hold a baby and feed them from a bottle? It’s messy and exhausting and haven’t we done enough by giving birth to these little monsters? It’s time babies pulled their weight and started to grow up and feed themselves, sheesh. Parents are busy and exhausted and babies better start realizing that we can’t be bothered to snuggle them in our arms and feed them. Selfish lazy babies, your days are numbered!

From the blog Iamtypecast:

Firstly, if you’ve got an idea and you want to market it maybe run it by a targeted focus group first.  Not your mates and your mum who are going to pat you on the hand and tell you that you’ve done a good job.  OK, I’m an aged grandmother.  What the fuck do I know?  Oh yeah, I’ve actually raised three children and they’re all still alive.  They may not have been though if I’d have used one of these:

According to the website where this product is advertised, the 2-in-1 bottle bib features velcro straps to adjust to the size of the baby and a catcher that collects the mess. Because not only is feeding a baby a total pain the ass, having to then wipe up any spilled formula just adds to the nightmare of feeding them.

I’m not sure when using a product like this would ever be acceptable or who would even want to use it. And please don’t say it would be good for people without arms because all you have to do is see something amazing like this to counter that argument.

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I can think of very few things in this world that are as cozy and wonderful as feeding a baby, whether by breast or bottle. It’s one of the most fun things ever. And not only is bonding with babies something accomplished by feeding them and holding them, it’s also nature’s way of making parents get off their feet and rest for a short while before they go back to rushing around the house cleaning and doing laundry. Babies need to be fed because they are hungry, but ask because it facilitates bonding and rest for the parents. How can you do that if you shove your kid into some rubbery feeding contraption?

I think if we asked most parents what one of the best “jobs” involved with caring for babies is feeding them. We don’t need a device that bottle feeds our babies for us. This company should invent a magical laundry-folding machine or a robot that can haul the garbage to the curb.