Being A Parent Has Made Me Very Superstitious

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woman with fingers crossedI have never been an overly superstitious person, that is, until I had children.

As a push present (don’t shoot me – I didn’t come up with the term) my daughter’s father bought me a Cartier Love Bracelet and gave it to me while I was in the hospital. The bracelet comes with a screwdriver and that pretty much is the only way you can get the bracelet off — when you unscrew the two screws that keep the bracelet on your wrist. I lost the screwdriver a long time ago. But that bracelet has been on my wrist for almost a decade now, not because I can’t find another screwdriver because of course I can. It’s just that I put the bracelet on the day she was born and my daughter is now turning ten in October.

I don’t take the bracelet off because I love it so much (though I do) but because I have this feeling that something bad is going to happen to my daughter if I dare DO take it off. Even when I was in the hospital giving birth to my second, almost a year ago, and they demanded I take off all jewelry I refused. (Plus there was no screwdriver in sight and it was kind of an emergency C-section situation so they let it go.) I refuse to take it off during massages, even though it would feel better, or if it doesn’t match with an outfit, or if I’m taking a boxing class, even though it is very painful to have the bracelet embedded into my arm by the tight boxing glove. I will never take this bracelet off. It will be on me in my grave.

My fiancé recently bought me a second Love Bracelet for the birth of our son. This too will remain on my wrist forever, because, as I’ve said, I have become superstitious since I’ve become a mother. Just like my daughter, once the bracelet was on my wrist I just know that I won’t take it off for fear that something will happen to my son.

When I travel without my children, I now do really strange things before getting on a plane. I’m completely embarrassed to admit this, but I have a ritual now which includes touching the walls leading onto the plane 20 times and then I MUST touch the outside of the plane, with both the front of my hand and the back of my hand, before boarding. I have no idea why I started this, or why this is what I think I have to do for my children to be okay (or for me to not die on a plane and leave my children with no mother) but I do know that it all started after the birth of my daughter.

I, too, make these somewhat crazy calls to my daughter’s father before travelling, saying things like, “If I die on this plane, please make sure Rowan is taken care of and that she is always happy.”

My daughter’s father will respond, “You’ll be fine!” to which I then send him a text with my “will.”

Each and every time I get on a plane I do this. He thinks it’s funny, but, really, that’s how superstitious I’ve become.

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