Being A Parent Has Made Me Very Superstitious
As a push present (donâ€™t shoot me â€“ I didnâ€™t come up with the term) my daughter’s father bought me a Cartier Love Bracelet and gave it to me while I was in the hospital. The bracelet comes with a screwdriver and that pretty much is the only way you can get the bracelet off — when you unscrew the two screws that keep the bracelet on your wrist. I lost the screwdriver a long time ago. But that bracelet has been on my wrist for almost a decade now, not because I canâ€™t find another screwdriver because of course I can. Itâ€™s just that I put the bracelet on the day she was born and my daughter is now turning ten in October.
I donâ€™t take the bracelet off because I love it so much (though I do) but because I have this feeling that something bad is going to happen to my daughter if I dare DO take it off. Even when I was in the hospital giving birth to my second, almost a year ago, and they demanded I take off all jewelry I refused. (Plus there was no screwdriver in sight and it was kind of an emergency C-section situation so they let it go.) I refuse to take it off during massages, even though it would feel better, or if it doesnâ€™t match with an outfit, or if Iâ€™m taking a boxing class, even though it is very painful to have the bracelet embedded into my arm by the tight boxing glove. I will never take this bracelet off. It will be on me in my grave.
My fiancÃ© recently bought me a second Love Bracelet for the birth of our son. This too will remain on my wrist forever, because, as Iâ€™ve said, I have become superstitious since Iâ€™ve become a mother. Just like my daughter, once the bracelet was on my wrist I just know that I wonâ€™t take it off for fear that something will happen to my son.
When I travel without my children, I now do really strange things before getting on a plane. Iâ€™m completely embarrassed to admit this, but I have a ritual now which includes touching the walls leading onto the plane 20 times and then I MUST touch the outside of the plane, with both the front of my hand and the back of my hand, before boarding. I have no idea why I started this, or why this is what I think I have to do for my children to be okay (or for me to not die on a plane and leave my children with no mother) but I do know that it all started after the birth of my daughter.
I, too, make these somewhat crazy calls to my daughterâ€™s father before travelling, saying things like, â€œIf I die on this plane, please make sure Rowan is taken care of and that she is always happy.â€
My daughterâ€™s father will respond, â€œYouâ€™ll be fine!â€ to which I then send him a text with my â€œwill.â€
Each and every time I get on a plane I do this. He thinks itâ€™s funny, but, really, thatâ€™s how superstitious Iâ€™ve become.