Baby Fat: I Need A Vacationâ€¦. From Getting Pregnant
When I (finally) decided I was ready to get pregnant, my mental process went something like this:
-Date to â€œstart tryingâ€ decided â€“ CHECK!
-Next nine months mentally blocked off â€“ CHECK!
-One full year mentally blocked off until I would feel 100% like myself again post-baby* â€“ CHECK! (*I realize this isÂ veryaggressive, but a girl can dream.)
Clearly I hadnâ€™t fully taken into account how long it could take to actuallyÂ getÂ pregnant. Or the mental drain of â€œAm I?â€ or â€œAm I not?â€ each month.
And Iâ€™m not talking about the stress of wondering:Â WhyÂ itâ€™s taking so long?Â Because thatâ€™s a whole other discussion. Â Iâ€™m talking about the day-to day whiney stress of:
Should I buy a new pair of nice jeans or will I be pregnant by next month and wonâ€™t be able to zip them up for the next year?
Getting invited to a wine tasting weekend early fall and having no idea if that will be such a fun activity when the date actually arrives.
The hot yoga studio I want to join has a 4-month initial commitment. Will they refund my money if I get pregnant? They better refund my money if I get pregnant!
And of course thereâ€™s just the constant conflict of treating my body like the baby making temple it could be one minuteâ€¦and then deciding to just go about my life and not think about it at all the next (the latter is a proven approach for many people! And so is the formerâ€¦)
I always assumed that once I got pregnant it would obviously consume my thoughts. Â But the â€œSeriously, just tell me so I can mark my freakin calendar already!â€ I was not prepared for. Â Like I said, itâ€™s not the â€œWhereâ€™s MY baby!?â€ thoughts. Â Itâ€™s just the annoyance at the inability to fully plan my life without a huge lurking unknown that isÂ reallyÂ starting to get old.
So a â€œvacation from getting pregnantâ€ is a great idea if youâ€™ve been at this for a little awhile.Â You donâ€™t necessarily have to go anywhere either if thatâ€™s too hard. Â But just putting a designated mental â€œtimeoutâ€ on the process can be healthy for everyone involved. Â Even just for a few days. Â Itâ€™s easy to get tunnel vision about this and sometimes itâ€™s just nice to get back in touch with the person you were, before you were the person trying to get pregnant.
I have a friend who recently had to have non-fertility related surgery but was told not to try for a baby for at least six months afterward. Â They had been trying for a while leading up to this. Â Afterwards she said that the surgery happened at theÂ perfecttime.Â They were given permission to take a break, or a forced â€œvacationâ€, and just shelving getting pregnant was beyond refreshing.Â She had no idea how nice it would be to take a hiatus from the unknown.
I have a number of new mom friends that have begged me to enjoy the fact that itâ€™s taking some time to get pregnant. Â They must have all talked because they say the same exact same thing – â€œEnjoy it while it lasts because your life will never be the same!â€ Though some women without children might not want to hear that advice, I do think it makes a lot of sense. Â Itâ€™s easy to focus on what you donâ€™t have and forget how much you do. Â And to be perfectly honest, the extra non-pregnant time that I didnâ€™t know I was getting has really been a blessing and time well spent.Â Itâ€™s prepared me well for when the big day finally arrives when I find out I actually am pregnant.
Thatâ€™s just my how Iâ€™m seeing things today. Â But if I can indulge in just one more whiney moment about all this uncertainty – my wardrobe reallyÂ isÂ suffering because of all this baby limbo!