STFU Parents: 3 Dos and Don’ts Of Baby Shower Updates

Last week, Mommyish writer Lindsay Cross posted about baby shower games. Namely, that many people find the games annoying. I concur with this sentiment, but I also relate to her statement, “I’m not one to complain about showers.” Typically, I’m not one to complain about how someone wants to host a celebration either. To each her own! If a friend or relative wants to beat me into submission with tape measurers and candy bar “poopy” diapers, then so be it. I won’t complain, at least not until after the party and in private, and I won’t judge anyone for wanting to experience silly traditions, because some people love that stuff. (I, however, am not one of those people.)

That said, I think there are a few Dos and Don’ts that are worth discussing on the subject of baby showers. Going through my “Baby Shower” submissions folder, I saw some glaringly obvious faux pas, so today I wanted to point a few out in the hopes that others won’t make the same mistakes. Because let’s face it, being the center of attention while 25-40 pounds heavier than usual and surrounded by friends who are there to lavish you with baby gifts can be weird enough on its own. Especially if alcohol is involved (and it should be). The games exist as an ice breaker, really, because otherwise everyone is just eating finger sandwiches and talking about the giant unborn baby in the room. Where’s the fun in that?! So ladies, keep your “crappy” games if you want to, but pay special attention to these other tips, because they just might come in handy.


DO: Let the people who are invited to your shower know where you’re registered. People want to know what to get for your baby, and I think most people prefer to purchase items that they know the parents want or need.

DON’T: Post your registry page on your main Facebook page. You’re not seeking gifts from all 649 of your “friends”; you’re seeking gifts from the people who are attending your shower (and I’m guessing that number isn’t 649). You might even want to only share the registry information via email, but if you do choose to post it to Facebook, just tag the interested parties. Otherwise, you end up sounding like this:

More importantly, though, no matter how you decide to clue in your friends on what they can buy for your baby, try to keep it short and sweet. Because even if everything you say in a long-winded note comes straight from your heart, you run the risk of sounding demanding and ungrateful if the list or message is too long.

STFU Parents
See what I mean? If you’re still awake, I have a feeling you do.


DO: Gently nudge your friend offline if the baby shower preparations she said she’d handle don’t seem to be underway. No pregnant woman needs added stress, and if a friend volunteers to throw you a shower, she should make an effort to come through.

DON’T: Scold everyone via Facebook and turn your baby shower into a pity party.

Yikes. Remember ladies, just because you’re hormonal and pregnant, you can’t force anyone to do anything for you. And you certainly can’t force anyone to purchase anything for you. No matter what happens with your shower, try not to have a public meltdown.

Of course it would suck if you A) threw yourself a baby shower, and then B) only six out of 37 people could confirm attendance, but hey, screw it. Have the shower anyway. Be thankful for the five people who could come rather than focus on the people who couldn’t. Besides, those people still might get you guilt gifts.


DO: Serve cake to your guests at the party.

DON’T: Serve THIS cake to your guests at the party.

STFU Parents

Mmmm, shellacked baby feet. I know these types of cakes are very en vogue right now, but I still think they’re creepy. Call me old-fashioned, but I’ll play a stupid dirty diaper game over eating an “adorable” cake with baby-like qualities any day. Remember, it’s your party and your cake, but nothing is freakier than discovering the leftovers from a cake like this each time you open your freezer. Think ahead

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