Polyamorous Mom: I Don’t Feel Weird Removing My Wedding Ring When I’m With My Boyfriend

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What I find interesting is that lots of people will give you the line “I could never take mine off!” and not just monogamous people.   On a poly forum I frequent online there was a whole discussion surrounding wedding rings and a lot of people seemed to think it wrong or dishonest to take them off. Even speaking with another partner of mine, a more recent friend with benefits, he seemed surprised that Allan and I removed ours at times.  I don’t see it as leaving any of my love or devotion behind, but a minor social trapping it’s easier to deal without.  When I’m out and about with Allan, they’re on and people know we’re married.  When I’m gallivanting with Jim they’re off and we are seen as a couple.   I get that I don’t HAVE to care about other people’s perceptions, but I do and I’m ok with that. I like to look nice, I like my kids to be well groomed and well mannered (not that they always are) and I like it to be known that I’m with the guy I’m with.

Next week Jim and I are double dating to a  party with Allan and his girlfriend Holly.  I suppose, neither Allan nor I will wear our wedding rings.  Even though we’ll be there together, romantically that night I’ll be with Jim and he’ll be with Holly.  Whether we are together with our partners, or apart with our rings off in a drawer, we share a bond of love and commitment and nothing, especially not the placement of jewelry, changes that.

(Photo: Getty Images)

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