Gwyneth & Chris Celebrate A Romantic Conscious Uncoupling On Tim McGraw’s Private Island

Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Divorce Faith Hill IslandThe fact that Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow are “borrowing” a private island in the Bahamas that is owned by Tim McGraw and his lovely wife of 18 years Faith Hill during their divorce conscious uncoupling shows that all of us are basically the same as Gwyneth. When I split from my first husband, we did pretty much the same thing, meaning that just like the über rich couple who took a private jet with their children to the exclusive hideaway of Goat Cay we had our own conscious uncoupling ritual, which entailed fighting over who would get to keep the dish set we had purchased for like 12 dollars on sale at Target. It’s amazingly similar!

According to The Daily Mail:

Chris, who married Gwyneth in Mexico in 2003, was seen driving a Red Ford Explorer to the Bahaman Governor’s Harbor Airport so the family could make the trip to Goat Cay – a 17-acre tropical utopia owned by their friends.

Faith and Tim, both 46, bought the island in 2008. And their paradise features a 15,000-square-foot, four-bedroom house that comes complete with a lookout tower, as well as three smaller houses for their staff.

The exclusive Exuma archipelago is made up of 365 islands costing around $30 million each and privately-owned by stars ranging from Johnny Depp to David Copperfield and Tyler Perry.

‘They looked happy and calm,’ said a witness who saw Chris and Gwyneth and their children boarding the plane en route to the A-List holiday destination.

‘Chris was wearing a hat and Gwyneth was casual in a white t-shirt”¦they drove right up to their private jet with the kids in tow.’

The plane took off around 9.50am and reportedly landed in Cave Cay – a private islet where no commercial aircraft are permitted.

They were greeted by an entourage of staff before boarding a private boat whisking them to a smaller island loaned to them by the super-rich ”Nashville Sweethearts”.

I love this part: Chris was wearing a hat! I checked the Goop website for y’all and there is no style guide of what to wear for a conscious uncoupling so I cannot tell you who made this hat, but I’m guessing it cost more than your monthly electric bill. I know I sound bitter, and you know what? I am. These people lead some magical fairy tale life and they had a magic fairy tale marriage and now they are having a magical fairy tale divorce on some fancy island belonging to another magical fairy tale couple and the rest of us assholes are hoping we have enough left in the grocery budget for PIZZA NIGHT.

Divorce conscious uncoupling isn’t really a cakewalk and it’s not like I would wish it on anyone but here’s the deal, money solves a LOT of problems. If your marriage is ending and you can dissolve it lounging around on a gorgeous tropical island and going out to eat and probably getting massages from THE STAFF while wearing 548 dollar shorts it probably eases the pain a little bit.

I’m just waiting for the Goop update so I can see what one should bring along on a getaway like this. I bet a pile of diamonds is something you need to pack for spiritual wellness or some shit.

(Image: getty)

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