Childrearing

10 Troubling Questions People Are Asking Google About Their Babies

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6. That escalated quickly.

ask google baby UTIOn the plus side, this series of queries is probably the best way to make bed-sharing look extremely safe.

7. I’m all for 4K, but this is ridiculous.

ask google baby school

Somebody didn’t get the memo about the Your Baby Can Read! curriculum.

8. My mom always said I had a hollow leg, so that could be a contender.

ask google babies located

I take what I said about the previous entry back. Let’s start sending babies to school so that they have more educational time to fit in a few health and/or biology classes.

9. Add some anatomy classes to that, too.

ask google babies have necks

If your baby is missing her neck, please consult a non-search-engine medical authority immediately to make sure she isn’t suffering from a severe case of Accordion Spine.

10. Allowed? Probably. Advised? No.

ask google are babies allowed at

My kids went crazy if I tried to run the vacuum in front of them, so I bet an hour-long concert would go over a treat. Also, if I turn up a Google query about babies and mosh pits before I’m done here, I’m going to be upset.

Bonus: a really good question to cleanse the palate.

ask google all white babies One of my twins was a good 20% bigger at birth and I still couldn’t tell my own oh-so-white babies apart for the first few weeks of their lives. At least I’m not alone.

(Photo: Andresr/Shutterstock)

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