Childrearing

Anonymous Mom: I Haven’t Changed My Baby’s Diaper In Over 6 Weeks

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Sometimes I bribe or plead, “Oh, come on. Just put your show on pause! It will take you one minute. I gave you life!” Or, “How many times do I drive you to hockey and your friend’s houses?” (I guess that falls more under guilt, but this works too.)

Now it’s after four o’clock and the sitter has left (not before I always ask, “Can you make sure he doesn’t need a diaper change? I really just have to get these final e-mails off.”) And then my husband will come home. He’s a good guy. The kind of father that actually loves being a father. We eat usually after the boys, including the baby. When my husband is home, I’ll say to him, “OK, I’ll prepare his bottle if you go upstairs and get him ready for bed.” Of course this includes a diaper change.

Weekends are harder since there is no part-time help, but I still manage get out of diaper duty.

So, you can see how easy it is to get “away with” — if you can call it that —  not changing a diaper. It’s pretty much, “I’ll do this if you change him.” I say it in such a way that it sounds like a compromise and no one really seems to have caught on that I’m always finding something else – “Have to go to the bathroom!” “Have to prepare his bottle!” “Have to fold the laundry!”

To be honest, as a parent, we all have things we hate doing. For example, I hated playing with trucks with my firstborn (by the fourth, it’s just part of life, like breathing.) I hated bathing my second born. Contrary to me, my husband loves giving baths, but hates feeding time and hates putting babies to bed. I’m really good at putting babies to bed, so I definitely don’t mind doing that.

But, seriously, I’ve started counting the days as they go by to see how much longer I can get away with this. It’s kind of like counting down the days until Christmas. But in this case, I’m counting the days until someone says, “Mommy hasn’t changed baby’s diaper in 103 days!” It could happen. I’m almost at the 60-day mark, now that I’ve just looked at the calendar.

Or perhaps my husband is pulling a fast one on me. He hasn’t fed the baby in…I don’t know how long. But maybe he’s saying, “I wonder when my wife is going to catch on that I haven’t fed the baby in weeks.”

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(photo: TungCheung / Shutterstock)

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