The CDC Had to Tell People Not to Wash and Reuse Condoms, Because We Are Living in the Dumbest Timeline

By  | 

Goddamn it, you guys. Just … goddamn it. Why are people SO DUMB? Just so remarkably, inexcusably dumb. You know the kind of dumb I’m talking about, yes? The kind of dumb that should cause physical pain, such is the depths of said dumb. It’s the kind of dumb where you think to yourself, how the fuck have you managed to make it to adulthood? THAT kind of dumb. I feel like we’ve been bombarded with this kind of dumb since, well, the election. It’s like people this dumb were suddenly given a green light to infect the rest of the world with their idiocy. I DON’T CARE FOR IT, FRIENDS. I need these dumb people to go back to the recesses of humanity where they belong. Like the people who need to be told that you can’t wash and reuse condoms. We are truly living in the worst timeline.

The CDC had to issue an actual warning, to remind people that you cannot wash and reuse fucking condoms.

My soul hurts, you guys. Now, if you’re like me, you’re probably wondering: did the CDC really need to make such a warning? I mean, this is pretty common knowledge. Condoms are a one-time use kind of thing! But, clearly, enough people WASH AND REUSE THEM that the goddamn Centers for Disease Control had to actually tell them to stop. I have so many questions. For example, where does one keep freshly-laundered condoms? Do they have a dedicated clothesline? Or are there used condoms just lying around their bathroom and hanging from the towel rack?

Just in case you’re one of … those people, the CDC was kind enough to clarify why washing and reusing rubbers is not a great idea.

Elizabeth Torrone is an epidemiologist at the CDC’s Division of STD Prevention. She told Buzzfeed News, “Incorrect use, such as reusing a condom or using more than one at a time, diminishes the protective effect of condoms by leading to condom breakage, slippage, or leakage”. Additionally, soap won’t kill all of the microorganisms on the condom, and in fact, will make it more prone to tearing.

So, bottom line: please don’t wash and reuse your condoms. If this is a thing you’ve been doing, I think it’s safe to say that you OF ALL PEOPLE need extra protection during sex to prevent pregnancy. Because these people are literally too dumb to procreate.

(Image: iStock/spukkato)