8 Videos That Will Make You Cry When You Have A Newborn
There’s a brief window at the beginning of every parenthood where the baby needs to be fed so often but falls asleep so instantly that you will wind up spending your whole day sitting in one place with the baby in your lap. This is a good time to binge-watch a lot of TV. The only problem is that everything makes you cry when you have a newborn. Everything.
Here is a not even remotely comprehensive list of some of the videos I cried at during the first week of my baby’s life.
1. “Baby Mine” from Dumbo
Let’s just start off with both tear ducts at once.
2. The Five Little Ducks Song
I had actually never heard this song until I was looking up songs to sing a new baby. This is not a song to sing a new baby! In the song, five ducks go off to play, then the mama duck calls them back but only four come back.
“Where is the other baby duck!?” I was shouting at YouTube. It was not my best moment.
3. “Stay with Me” from Into the Woods
If you can make it past the witch singing, “Who out there could love you more than I?” you are made of stronger stuff than I.
The unfairness of the world will jerk tears from your face when you see Olivia Pope drink so much red wine and wear so many white clothes when you can do neither.
5. “Best Day” by Taylor Swift
If you can watch this now and not cry, I’m pretty sure that’s clinical proof you are a robot from the future. Please take pity on us.
6. Andy giving away his toys in Toy Story 3
Forget the beginning of Up, nothing in Pixar will make you cry like realizing your three-day-old newborn is going to leave for college someday
7. Animal House
Your precious baby is going to go to college someday, and he or she will be surrounded by all these assholes. Or will become one of those assholes! Every one of the people in this movie was someone’s newborn once.
Your precious baby could grow up to live in an abandoned factor and have AIDS and won’t return your phone calls because he’s too into his music and you won’t ever know what’s going on with him. Get a job, hippies! And call your mothers.