Having A Kid Before 25 Sounds About As Fun As A Kick In The Vag To Me

85906176Ermahgerd. There are times when I see an interesting tidbit of research or an unreasonably controversial poll, like this here Gallup poll, that makes me want to roll my eyes and get out the popcorn to see all the cray-cray fights that are sure to ensue.

Ready? A recent Gallup poll of 5100 adults confirmed that Americans consider 25 or younger to be the ideal age for a woman to have her first child. Before I poke the bear on this one, I’ll throw in my personal story so that you can see where I’m coming from.

I had my first son when I was 28 and my second son when I was 29. (I know, I know, 16 months apart eep!) But now the baby factory is closed forever, thanks to a beautiful medical breakthrough that I like to call the vasectomy.

I managed to get my child rearing done rapid-fire, which finished my pregnancy chapter before I hit 30. It wasn’t necessarily planned that way, but I do hear through the grapevine (Facebook) that tons of women want to have a kid by the time they’re 30, like some kind of self-imposed deadline.

The only reason my husband and I decided to have kids at 28 was purely because of money. We got married when we were 26, which I hilariously thought was “old” at the time. A lot of my bias about marrying age had to do with the fact that I grew up in a religious family. There really was a joke that circulated when I was younger about women going to church to get their “MRS degree” (or, get wifed up).

Thankfully, no God-fearing holy roller was interested in me at the time, or I probably would have gotten married right away. Because it’s what I thought I should do.

Fast-forward a few years, and my pendulum swung in the opposite direction. (No surprise there!) I was partying and dating douche bags in my early 20s. I would have hitched my wagon to almost any douche that gave me a second glance (as many insecure twenty-somethings are prone to do). Thankfully, once again, no douche was interested enough in me to “put a ring on it.”

Which brings me back to where I am today. In retrospect, I can say, “Yippee! I’m so glad that I was rejected and left alone to cry on my pillow because I was able to grow and mature and finally meet my balanced, healthy husband!”

So, for me, having kids before the age of 25 makes me shudder, especially when I think of the types of guys that I was mixing and mingling with back then. I’m assuming that it was with this same motivation that all of the people in the survey, 58% to be exact, decided that 25 was the best age for women to procreate along with a male counterpart, aged 27.

With the amount of blogs I’ve read on advanced maternal age, I was really surprised by these findings. I would have assumed that most people would vote for age 30 as a good baseline to get started on the family making. Yet only 11% of the people surveyed said that a 30-year-old woman was the best choice for a first-time baby mama. 19% of people surveyed voted for a 30-year-old first-time baby daddy.

After the survey was released, I heard this topic debated back and forth in two different schools of thought:

  • Argument #1: Why not have kids in your early 20s if you’re ready for it? If you find the right person, that just means you’ll get to spend even longer with the family you created. And, you’ll be a young grandparent without a cane or hip replacement bonus!

 

  • Argument #2: If you don’t sow your wild oats in your 20s, you’re always going to regret it. What’s the rush? You don’t have to get married or have kids at a certain age or in any particular order. Don’t let the man get you down!

If you’re anything like me, then you’ll probably let your personal experience sway you in the argument you choose. I chose argument #2. I had the opportunity to sow my wild oats and date plenty of people, ahem, douche bags, and I have absolutely zero regrets.

I know the right answer to this type of survey is: Who am I to judge? Everyone has to live their own life and decide whenever they’re ready to bring a child into the world. But who am I kidding – sometimes it’s fun to judge, especially when it’s anonymous, so give your two cents in the Mommyish poll below:

[poll id=”25″]

(Image: getty Images)

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