I’m Going To Give Yes Parenting A Big Fat Nope

Yes ParentingSo, you probably already know that you’re a complete failure as a parent, but here’s a new thing that you can add to your list of ways that you are irrevocably damaging your precious angels and setting them up for a life of therapy and shame: saying ”no”. Fascist.

Apparently there’s a thing called YES parenting, which is better than your parenting style because it revolves around letting your kids do whatever they want, whenever they want to, which is exactly how real life works and can not possibly backfire, ever.

Bea Marshall for instance, explained to the UK Daily Mail that by allowing her sons, Jos and Peep, to eat ice cream for breakfast and to tell her to ”fuck off” when she can’t help them look for a toy, she is preparing them for a happy adulthood free of negativity and shame.

The only real question is, why aren’t you doing this right now? Is it because you hate your kids or something?

To be fair to Bea, she did mention that the boys self-regulate and that when they fling curse words at her, that calls for a serious talk about their feelings. On her blog, she clarifies that YES parenting isn’t without boundaries:

”Let’s be absolutely clear here. Boundaries are essential to personal wellbeing and also integration into society. I have never said, and I doubt I ever would say, that boundaries are unnecessary or that I don’t agree with boundaries. What I disagree with is the way setting boundaries in parenting is often a subtle way to control our children.”

I think we can all agree with that, and positive discipline isn’t particularly groundbreaking. Lots of other parents that are better at parenting than you use positive discipline as an alternative to say, time outs, which are traumatic and will probably turn your kid into a serial killer.

Because I am one of those parents who opted out of most ”natural” parenting fads styles, I love the word ”no”. It’s my favorite, ever. Nothing compares to the pure glee I felt watching my toddler’s face crumple as I slowly crushed her spirit by saying, ”No, you can’t eat those dishwasher pods, even though they look really delicious”.

I also get a sick joy from knowing that when she’s older, and people tell her ”no” all the time, she’ll be so used to this hate-filled unnatural slur that her numb, deadened soul will be so desensitized to not getting her way that she’ll just move past it, little more than husk of the person she could have been if only I’d let her eat Twizzlers and maple syrup for every meal.

(Image: Solovyova Lyudmyler/Shutterstock)

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