{"id":33397,"date":"2012-03-15T17:20:06","date_gmt":"2012-03-15T21:20:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/?p=33397"},"modified":"2012-03-15T17:20:06","modified_gmt":"2012-03-15T21:20:06","slug":"unbearable-awkward-questions-about-infertility-trying-to-conceive-979","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/unbearable-awkward-questions-about-infertility-trying-to-conceive-979\/","title":{"rendered":"Unbearable: You Never Get Used To Those Awkward Questions About Having Another Child"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Awkward\"

Back when I was just beginning my journey into the world of fertility treatments and in vitro fertilization, I complained about the fact that awkward questions suck<\/a>. I know, talk about a revelation. But for me, it was eye-opening to see how a simple question like, “Don’t you want to give your little girl a sibling?” could completely destroy my mood. Any inquiry into the state of my uterus made me upset and uncomfortable. And when you only have one child, those come pretty frequently.<\/p>\n

That was the start of my journey, before many people knew that I was struggling to have another little one. That was before I lost a child and a Fallopian tube to an ectopic pregnancy. It was back when the fear and hurt were new. Fresh wounds, if you will. Surely, I would’ve gotten used to these things in the intervening \u00a0months, \u00a0right? After discussing my problems with the world wide interweb, one could assume that I got comfortable with all this secondary infertility talk.<\/p>\n

Honestly, even I started to get pretty confident in my ability to stay calm and thoughtful in the face of, “So when are you going to have another?”<\/p>\n

Then, I took a quick business trip. I got away from my normal social circle or friends and family who are all somewhat aware of my issues. And all those questions came right back to my conversations.<\/p>\n

After smiling at a little girl on the subway, her mother asked me if I had any of my own. “Oh yea, I have a little girl about her age actually,” I shared. Yes, I am the type of traveler who talks to people on the subway. I’m okay with that. Anyways, in what was a very well-meaning comment, the woman told me, “You have to have a boy soon. I had mine 13 years apart and it was just too much. One kid in high school before the other starts kindergarten isn’t any fun.”<\/p>\n

Suddenly, I realized why New Yorkers don’t make small talk on the subway. I felt pretty over this whole mom-to-mom chat.<\/p>\n

Later on, a work acquaintance asked about my plan for more kids. It was someone who wasn’t familiar with my writing on Mommyish and had only seen my business writing. I knew that she had no reason to guess that I have been trying to have more kids for quite a while now.<\/p>\n

I had gotten comfortable with my TTC status. I got cocky in the face of those awkward questions. And then they jumped up when I least expected them and I found myself floundering, trying to come up with an answer. Really, who wants to respond to an innocent question with, “Well I lost a baby a couple months ago, but we’re still hoping…”<\/p>\n

Yup, it doesn’t matter what part of this journey I’m on, awkward questions suck. It doesn’t matter if someone is childless by choice, struggling for a second, or simply done having kids. Having a baby is a very personal decision and it’s so often a complex issue. I guess there are some levels of social discomfort that you just can’t get used to.<\/p>\n

(Photo: The Crazy Nigerian<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Having a child is usually a happy time in a woman\u2019s life. Unfortunately, as we wait longer to have…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20795,"featured_media":193905,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[102,101,250],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":4,"label":"Pregnancy"}],"post_tag":[{"value":102,"label":"Infertility"},{"value":101,"label":"Trying to Conceive"},{"value":250,"label":"unbearable"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/nopic.jpg",500,500,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Lindsay Cross","author_link":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/author\/lcross\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":4,"name":"Pregnancy","slug":"pregnancy","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":4,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Learn how to combine pregnancy and good health. Get the best good health, pregnancy tips for women, advice trends & info\r\n","parent":0,"count":2199,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":4,"category_count":2199,"category_description":"Learn how to combine pregnancy and good health. Get the best good health, pregnancy tips for women, advice trends & info\r\n","cat_name":"Pregnancy","category_nicename":"pregnancy","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":[{"term_id":102,"name":"Infertility","slug":"infertility","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":102,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":183,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":101,"name":"Trying to Conceive","slug":"trying-to-conceive","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":101,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":90,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":250,"name":"unbearable","slug":"unbearable","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":250,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":80,"filter":"raw"}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33397"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20795"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33397"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33397\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/193905"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33397"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33397"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}