{"id":33111,"date":"2012-03-13T10:01:04","date_gmt":"2012-03-13T14:01:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/?p=33111"},"modified":"2012-03-13T10:01:05","modified_gmt":"2012-03-13T14:01:05","slug":"hows-a-working-mother-supposed-to-attend-all-those-endless-school-functions-950","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/hows-a-working-mother-supposed-to-attend-all-those-endless-school-functions-950\/","title":{"rendered":"How’s A Working Mother Supposed To Attend All Those Endless School Functions?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"mommy

Only the week before, my daughter was sent home with a note saying that the third graders were performing in a singing competition and that parents were welcome (and also to check out the school\u2019s website for more information). There was no way I\u2019d be able to go to that. Earlier on the same the morning of the singing competition, I had run into another mother at Starbucks and she asked if I was going. \u201dI can\u2019t,\u201d I said. \u201dI really have to work.\u201d To which she responded, \u201dI\u2019m not going either, but I\u2019m going to the assembly tomorrow,\u201d to which I responded, \u201dThe what?\u201d Apparently, there was some school assembly for the kids that parents (and I say \u201dparents\u201d loosely, which I\u2019ll get into later) were also invited to.<\/p>\n

The week before that<\/em>, I received an e-mail from my daughter\u2019s class representatives (mothers) asking for parent volunteers to come in to school every morning for at least a week, to collect sap from trees for some pioneer project. And a month before that, there was some \u201dspecial\u201d day at school where parents were invited to come in for the morning to see all the work our children had done making structures out of material like cardboard. That was the first time I looked up to the sky and asked the higher powers, \u201dDoes any<\/em> mother work anymore?\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll admit, there have been a couple incidents where my daughter has come home and said, \u201dYou missed chapel today.\u201d And I was like, \u201dWhat? I didn\u2019t know parents were invited.\u201d To which my daughter said, \u201dYou were the only mother who wasn\u2019t there.\u201d To which I responded, \u201dOh yeah? The only<\/em> mother?\u201d And, also, \u201dWhy didn\u2019t you tell me I had to go?\u201d My daughter said, \u201dIt\u2019s on the website.\u201d Right. The fucking school website.<\/p>\n

Now, I have to admit that the school\u2019s website is quite amazing. But that, too, is a full-time job. If I don\u2019t log onto it practically every day, then I will<\/em> miss something at her school. No longer are there notes sent home in the knapsack that I can see<\/em> in front of me. Oh, no. I have to log onto the fucking website and navigate my way around to see what is happening at my daughter\u2019s school that week. I do not lie when I say there seems to be something I can attend at my daughter\u2019s school every single week.<\/p>\n

\u201dThis school is<\/em> like a full time job,\u201d I moaned to my ex recently. And I\u2019m not speaking only about end of school concerts or special performances that my child is in. There are swim races, opportunities to show up to school to see what they have made in their design technology classes, sap collecting, sports competitions at other<\/em> schools, singing competitions at god-knows-what-locations and that\u2019s all been in the last month alone. ]=<\/p>\n

My daughter attends a private school and I\u2019d say that probably at least half of the mothers don\u2019t work. And even though I do work (from home), I\u2019m now like, \u201dOf course they don\u2019t work. Especially if they have three children who go to school, how could<\/em> they possibly work?\u201d I only have one child and I can\u2019t show up to at least half the events I\u2019m invited to at her school. I don\u2019t really feel guilty about this. I\u2019m always left thinking, \u201dBut I work!\u201d<\/p>\n

Of course, my daughter would prefer that I show up to everything, but she understands. And I don\u2019t even think I have the worst of it. My fiance\u2019s children go to a public school that starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 2:30 p.m. 2:30 p.m.!!!! They don\u2019t have any after-care at that school and I\u2019m really like, \u201dSo what do parents DO if there children get out of school at 2:30 p.m.,\u201d which IS the middle of the afternoon. So they have nannies, or babysitters, and I\u2019m sure working mothers at that school can\u2019t wait until their children are old enough to walk home by themselves.<\/p>\n

I mentioned earlier that \u201dparents\u201d are always invited, and I said I used that term loosely, because where my daughter goes to school, I rarely see any fathers show up to these school activities. That\u2019s because THEY WORK. And, for whatever reason, we mothers bare the brunt of attending these school functions. (Yes, I know. Here we go. Your<\/em> husband shows up, right? Aren\u2019t you lucky.)<\/p>\n

But in my unscientific poll at the school swim race last week, there were a total of two fathers and about 30 mothers in the bleachers watching the children swim. After the swim race, as I was waiting to say hi to my daughter, who was thrilled that I had showed up (and I was thrilled that I showed up), she handed me a piece of paper. I read it and almost cried. Next month, her French class is putting on a play that all the parents are invited to. And, yes, of course<\/em> it falls in the middle of the day. I\u2019m thinking of invoicing the school for all my missed work hours. I\u2019m not really joking.<\/p>\n

(Photo: Richard Lewisohn)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sometimes I wonder if schools are designed these days to not allow mothers to work. I was thinking about…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20806,"featured_media":193905,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[7353,1531,35142,2397],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":3,"label":"Childrearing"}],"post_tag":[{"value":7353,"label":"gallery"},{"value":1531,"label":"mommy guilt"},{"value":35142,"label":"mommy wars"},{"value":2397,"label":"working mother"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/nopic.jpg",500,500,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Rebecca Eckler","author_link":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/author\/4dc311198cf6d\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":3,"name":"Childrearing","slug":"childrearing","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":3,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Get childrearing advice and read blog articles about how to raise your kids. Get advice for moms on how to be a good parent.\r\n","parent":0,"count":5343,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":3,"category_count":5343,"category_description":"Get childrearing advice and read blog articles about how to raise your kids. Get advice for moms on how to be a good parent.\r\n","cat_name":"Childrearing","category_nicename":"childrearing","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":[{"term_id":7353,"name":"gallery","slug":"gallery-2","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":7444,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":2500,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":1531,"name":"mommy guilt","slug":"mommy-guilt","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":1592,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":24,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":35142,"name":"mommy wars","slug":"mommy-wars","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":526,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":85,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":2397,"name":"working mother","slug":"working-mother","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":2461,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":18,"filter":"raw"}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33111"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20806"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33111"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33111\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/193905"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33111"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33111"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33111"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}