{"id":28802,"date":"2012-01-30T08:38:20","date_gmt":"2012-01-30T13:38:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/?p=28802"},"modified":"2012-01-31T10:09:15","modified_gmt":"2012-01-31T15:09:15","slug":"sorry-i-cant-talk-i-have-kids-593","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/sorry-i-cant-talk-i-have-kids-593\/","title":{"rendered":"Sorry I Can’t Talk, I Have Kids!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"moms

Surely I can\u2019t be the only one who feels ridiculously short-changed and slightly embittered by the real-life consequence of these perennial interruptions? For me, it’s gotten so bad that I can no longer string a complete coherent sentence together even when children aren\u2019t <\/em>present.<\/p>\n

Moms, ask yourselves: When was the last time you were able to catch an uninterrupted 10 minutes to ruminate on that horrific moment in The Hills<\/em> when Heidi Montag<\/strong> goes to visit her mother for the first time after umpteen surgeries? You ran for the phone desperately dialing the numbers to your best mommy BFF to talk about (a) how you would have reacted the same way, (b) how \u201dsome\u201d mothers are jerks, and you totally would have placed square blame on the shoulders of Mother Montag for not showing her daughter \u201denough\u201d self-love, or (c) how privileged preppy white males are the scourge of the earth and you blame MTV for all of the world\u2019s problems.<\/p>\n

Except none of this happened because at that precise moment, the custom-ordered lunch that was delivered to your 3-year-old by you, her personal chef, precisely 15 minutes before<\/em> your phone call, coincidentally required re-heating. Hold me back.<\/p>\n

I recall having a telephone conversation with my daughters\u2019 principal one afternoon about a Very Important Matter. I was completely mortified and embarrassed that my girls were continuously screaming and giggling around me no matter how many times I gave them the death stare. As I repeatedly attempted to shush them, dashing from room to room plugging my one available ear, and apologizing profusely for the endless back-chatter, the principal started laughing and said, \u201dYou don\u2019t think that you\u2019re the only<\/em> person this happens to, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n

I might have paused and said something like, \u201dWhy, yes, Mrs. S., until I came face to face with my Worst Living Nightmare that one day I would be on the telephone with the Directrice of my daughter\u2019s Montessori School and my daughters would choose this<\/em> particular moment to act like, well, children<\/em>, I was absolutely positive that only<\/em> my children behaved this way.\u201d She might have laughed and reiterated that nope, I wasn\u2019t alone. And, of course, after her reassurance I was able to breathe a sigh of relief and we agreed that we would talk later, sans<\/em> children scurrying under foot, natch.<\/p>\n

Previously, I had always wondered why it was that whenever I visited my sister, who had three children before I had mine, it seemed impossible for us to discuss our lives without these attempts being derailed by a child. My nieces weren\u2019t high-need children who required their parents\u2019 undivided attention. It\u2019s just that whenever they were present, the conversation ultimately steered towards them if the conversation hadn\u2019t already been hijacked by them mid-stream.<\/p>\n

The intention, of course, was never to exclude them after all, socializing children while adults are present is a critical part of raising full-rounded human beings. However, what of these moments when all an adult wants is to have a conversational exchange without that exchange being about<\/em> the children present? It\u2019s a THING, I tell you.<\/p>\n

The way the teachers at my girls\u2019 school handle interruptions by children is a step in the right direction. If a teacher is engaged with a student and another student absolutely needs to have the teacher\u2019s attention, the student will calmly place a hand on the teacher\u2019s shoulder. No words are spoken, but the gesture is an unspoken communication tool to alert the teacher to the fact that the student needs her. The child waits patiently until the teacher is finished, and she then gets the undivided attention. Of course, if the matter is super urgent, then the child taps the shoulder a little more furiously, and the teacher will either excuse herself to address the furious tapper stating that she should wait until she is finished with the first student, or she will turn her attention to the furious tapper and the first child will have to wait. [tagbox tag=”discipline”]<\/p>\n

At home, we do not stand on such formality, and we have taught our girls to simply say, \u201dExcuse me, mommy\u201d or \u201dExcuse me, daddy,\u201d if they have something to interject while we adults are conversing. Sometimes we\u2019ll all simply interrupt one another there is no \u201dperfect\u201d solution but for the most part, there\u2019s an understanding that everyone gets to finish their train of thought without abrupt interruptions from folks who believe that they\u2019ve been struck by the most important epiphany when you\u2019ve got the floor. \u00a0<\/strong>The results, I\u2019d say, are mixed. Our girls know that it\u2019s impolite to interrupt, and they also know how to politely interject. Part of the learning process for all of us of course is deciphering the social cues of when to use either appropriately.<\/p>\n

How do you<\/em> handle conversation interruptions by children? Do you simply wait to talk when they are no longer present or have you developed other strategies?<\/p>\n

(Photo: Goodshot)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The art of having a conversation while children are present is my biggest pet peeve. And believe me, it\u2019s…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20962,"featured_media":28821,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[411,7353,4286,35131],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":3,"label":"Childrearing"}],"post_tag":[{"value":411,"label":"discipline"},{"value":7353,"label":"gallery"},{"value":4286,"label":"parenting style"},{"value":35131,"label":"school"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/782888942.jpg",509,335,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Bolaji Williams","author_link":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/author\/4e2d6bf9e5cd9\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":3,"name":"Childrearing","slug":"childrearing","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":3,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Get childrearing advice and read blog articles about how to raise your kids. Get advice for moms on how to be a good parent.\r\n","parent":0,"count":5343,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":3,"category_count":5343,"category_description":"Get childrearing advice and read blog articles about how to raise your kids. Get advice for moms on how to be a good parent.\r\n","cat_name":"Childrearing","category_nicename":"childrearing","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":[{"term_id":411,"name":"discipline","slug":"discipline","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":411,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":133,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":7353,"name":"gallery","slug":"gallery-2","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":7444,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":2500,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":4286,"name":"parenting style","slug":"parenting-style","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":4353,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":146,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":35131,"name":"school","slug":"school","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":152,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":279,"filter":"raw"}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28802"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20962"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28802"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28802\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/28821"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28802"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28802"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28802"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}