{"id":28764,"date":"2012-01-28T15:15:38","date_gmt":"2012-01-28T20:15:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/?p=28764"},"modified":"2012-01-28T15:18:20","modified_gmt":"2012-01-28T20:18:20","slug":"tips-for-parent-teacher-conferences-397","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/tips-for-parent-teacher-conferences-397\/","title":{"rendered":"‘We’re Working On It’ Means There’s A Problem – And Other Tips For Parent-Teacher Conferences"},"content":{"rendered":"

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This week, we had my daughter’s first real parent-teacher conference. It’s her first year of pre-school, and the October meeting seemed more like a “getting to know you” session. The class was just getting settled and the teacher wasn’t quite testing the kids on their knowledge yet. Now, even at three years old, my little one is taking part in assessments and demonstrating her knowledge of numbers, colors and shapes. But preparing for my first big conference made me start thinking about the parent’s position in this long tradition. Other than sitting and smiling, what are the adults really getting out of parent-teacher conferences?<\/p>\n

It’s been argued on Mommyish before that conferences can feel like a waste of time<\/a>. As the daughter of a teacher, I simply don’t believe that’s true. I think it’s important to show that you care about your child’s education. I also believe that your child’s teacher sees important parts of your kid’s personality and that you can learn a lot about them by hearing how they interact at school.<\/p>\n

Basically, I know that conferences are important. I just didn’t know how to make the most out of them. So for guidance, I turned to an amazing group of teachers to get the inside scoop on parent-teacher interviews. What questions should parents be asking? What clues should we be looking for? Here’s what I found out from the other side of the desk. Here’s what teachers want you to take out of parent-teacher conferences.<\/p>\n

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The social aspects of school are so important. For young kids, it’s a chance to see how they interact with friends and what you need to work on. “Ask if your child is a Leader, Follower, or Do-It-On-Your-Own kind of kid,” suggests Ms. Miller. From there, you can address the specific needs of your child. If they’re a leader, you can make sure that they are using that strength in a positive manner. If they’re a follower, it’s important to encourage independence. For young kids, “it can be as simple as letting them pick out their own outfit in the morning, but something to help them make decisions for themselves,” Ms. Miller suggests. And for a child who wants to do everything on their own, parents can find ways to encourage team work and interaction, even if it’s just in small doses.<\/p>\n

Another important social issue: the type of friends they gravitate towards. So many parents want to know about their kids friends and if they are “good kids.” But teachers can’t answer direct questions about your kid’s classmates. It puts them in an awkward position. “You can ask what type of influences your child gravitates towards though,” offers Ms. Miller. “For most kids, it’s not a mix of the two groups. They either choose to be around the good kids who behave or the class clowns. You can ask which group your child decides to spend their free time with.” It’s a great tip for parents who are trying to find out more about the classmates we hear about every evening around the dinner table.<\/p>\n

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“If we say that we’re ‘working on it,’ that’s your clue that we’re having a problem,” says another teacher, Mrs. Kindler. Teachers are often worried about over-concerning the parents. Understandably, we tend to take every little thing that the teachers say to heart. While the concern is great, that leaves teachers in a position of trying to inform you about an issue without making a huge problem where they doesn’t need to be one. “Working on it,” shows that we need to pay attention to this skill, but doesn’t make it sound threatening. Even further, “If we say that we’re ‘pulling your child to work on it,’ that means that we’ve gone over it in class and your child needs extra work.” Teachers often use small group work to help kids who don’t understand during large teaching sessions, but parents should know that this is an area where their kids really need extra attention.<\/p>\n

You shouldn’t be afraid to ask what your teacher’s plan is for whatever skill they’re working on. “If I’ve used that working, I should have a plan set out and should be able to explain the steps we need to take to help the student,” says Ms. Miller. In fact, knowing how your teacher is going to address an issue should help parents figure out what they can do at home.<\/p>\n

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There are plenty of questions for parents to ask when they see their child’s teacher. But the most important one might be, “What can we do at home?” Teachers are all hoping that their students’ parents will continue the lessons long after the last bell. They’re thrilled to hear that parents are looking for ways to help their kids. Plenty of teachers will share materials, workbooks, lesson plans or any other number of teaching aids with their parents if it’s necessary.<\/p>\n

If you’re child is experiencing serious problems learning, it’s even more important for parents to get involved. Teachers can help you use the same\u00a0vocabulary\u00a0they’re using at school, which will make it easier for your child. And most schools have certain support or tutoring programs in the community that they work with. “If I don’t have a list in my classroom, I can get you one,” says Ms. Miller.<\/p>\n

Mrs. Kindler added, “Don’t be afraid to bring in your own research.” She has a parent who attended a learning conference when their son started having problems. The parent brought in material and research that they discovered and Mrs. Kindler was able to integrate that into her approach. More than anything, teachers want to work with parents to create the best chance possible for students. Whatever parents can do to help that is always appreciated.<\/p>\n

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Parents should take this opportunity to figure out the standards for their child’s grade and where they need to be by the end of the year. You don’t want to hit June and suddenly realize that your kid isn’t prepared to move on. Teachers can let you know where you little one needs to be at the end of the year and how much work it’s going to take get there. “But don’t be overwhelmed if there’s a lot to do,” adds Mrs. Kindler. After all, we have a whole new semester in front us. Just think of everything your child has learned already this year!<\/p>\n

“And sometimes it helps just to focus on the next step,” adds Ms. Miller. If there’s a long road ahead of you, it can be advantageous just to concentrate on the next lesson you need to work on with your kids. Small milestones are important as well.<\/p>\n

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The best way to fit in all your questions without going over that time\u00a0allotment? Email your queries in advance! “I love having time to prepare for a conference,” says Ms. Miller. If she knows that you’re going to want a written plan of attach on any given issue, she can have that ready before you even come in. Mentoring suggestions? She’ll have them waiting for you. Extra hand-outs? They’ll be in your folder. Letting your child’s teacher know what your concerns are ahead of time helps them prepare and makes sure that you get the information that you want out of the conference.<\/p>\n

“And we can always schedule a follow-up time to talk,” adds Mrs. Kindler. Teachers never have a problem with parents wanting to hear more or learn more. All you have to do is ask.<\/p>\n

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Some last words of wisdom from these amazing ladies:<\/p>\n

“Don’t just focus on the problems, think about enrichment as well,” Ms. Miller reminds us. After all, it’s important to acknowledge and congratulate your kids for all the great they do. You can’t just look at the areas where they need work.<\/p>\n

“Be open,” Mrs. Kindler says. “I know that you know your child, but we see a different side of them and it might be completely opposite what you see at home.” Our children spend more waking hours with their teachers than they do with us sometimes, so we need to remember that teachers have valuable input on things you might have missed.<\/p>\n

“Get specifics!” Don’t just accept vague explanations or pretend that you know exactly what your teacher is talking about. Ask as many questions as you need to. “This is your time,” says Ms. Miller. “Even with daily or weekly newsletters, those are about the entire class. This is our time to focus on your child.”<\/p>\n

“Hand-outs have a purpose,” reminds Mrs. Kindler. Teachers don’t run copies for the fun of it. If they’re giving it to you, it’s worth reading.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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