{"id":149076,"date":"2014-11-28T13:01:47","date_gmt":"2014-11-28T18:01:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/?p=149076"},"modified":"2014-11-28T13:01:47","modified_gmt":"2014-11-28T18:01:47","slug":"scary-mommy-holidays-become","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/scary-mommy-holidays-become\/","title":{"rendered":"Scary Mommy:<\/b> What Have The Holidays Become?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"busy-mom-christmas\"

The music, the decorations, the sale ads \u201d\u201d\u00a0the holidays are already here<\/a>, whether you\u2019re ready or not. Right now there are thousands \u201d\u201d if not millions \u201d\u201d of people out taking advantage of \u201dBlack Friday\u201d deals, sales that started even before the turkey had cooled on the table.<\/p>\n

Like a lot of people, I sometimes find this time of year to be hard. Between the loss of family gatherings due to time and distance, the rampant and unnecessary consumerism, no holiday break, a dash of deep depression and a partridge in a pear tree, I would much rather just skip to January 2.<\/p>\n

There won\u2019t be a big family meal, and come Christmas there won\u2019t be many \u201d\u201d if any \u201d\u201d gifts. Times are tight and money is even tighter, regardless of the date on the calendar.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never been bitter because we don\u2019t have money for things, but I do get annoyed that others are so obsessed with those things.<\/p>\n

However, I get it. It\u2019s easy to feel pressured to buy things, eat foods that don\u2019t make you feel good and stress about spending time with people you might not enjoy all that much except in small doses.<\/p>\n

When that\u2019s no longer an option, you learn a valuable lesson \u201d\u201d be better, not bitter, and be thankful for all that you have.<\/p>\n

So this time of year I really have to distance myself from certain things online and on TV, as I can\u2019t stand seeing people filmed on Black Friday ravenous for deals on TVs, cameras, phones, etc., people in malls pushing others over, obsessed with getting things.<\/p>\n

Then they show Christmas Day.<\/p>\n

The mall is quiet. People are home with their families. The holiday is over. Until the next shot when it\u2019s Dec. 26 and people are right back at the mall again, ravenous for after-Christmas sales and replacing the gifts they didn\u2019t want. It\u2019s like somehow Christmas didn\u2019t happen for some people. It didn\u2019t fill the hole. It wasn\u2019t enough.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s different when you\u2019re a kid, or at least it was for me, and so I understand that it\u2019s different for parents. The holidays were a magical time with no worries, only wonder. The fact that parents can take the time to create fun traditions and keep that magic alive is priceless, and something I keep with me now.<\/p>\n

Growing up I was lucky enough that every holiday dozens of people in my big Polish family would be crammed around tables full of food and conversation. And while I might remember a few of the special gifts that I got, those \u201dthings\u201d aren\u2019t first on my mind.<\/p>\n

What I remember much more are the things that we did and said, making the food that we ate and places we went every year. That\u2019s what the holidays were, and that\u2019s what they continue to be.<\/p>\n

So this year with every Black Friday ad, and every person complaining about surviving the season\u00a0like it\u2019s a terminal illness, I\u2019m going to try not roll my eyes.<\/p>\n

Instead when they complain about feeling burdened to buy gifts, I might kindly remind them to connect to why the person they\u2019re shopping for is special to them and how they want them to feel when they open the gifts.<\/p>\n

Instead of rushing around, try to take a moment to stop and take in the sights and the smells of the season instead of overcommitting to events that just leave them drained. Maybe step back and ask, \u201dWhat do I want to remember?\u201d And if they have kids, \u201dWhat do I want\u00a0them<\/em>\u00a0to remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

Because even though this time of year might be rough for a variety of different reasons and some things are unavoidable \u201d\u201d crazy uncles making \u201dbreast or leg man\u201d jokes around a dead bird carcass stuffed with stale bread, Lexus \u201dDecember to Remember\u201d commercials \u201d\u201d there are some things we can control.<\/p>\n

We can be thankful for things that we have and make the memories that we want to keep.<\/p>\n

(Steps off soapbox, trips, has a piece of broccoli fall out of her shirt that fell in there sometime while she was eating dinner.)<\/p>\n

Let the season begin.<\/p>\n

This post originally appeared on Scary Mommy<\/a>. Read more here<\/a>.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

About the author: Abby Heugel<\/strong> is a\u00a0professional writer and editor of national trade publications for employment, but an award-winning blogger and writer for enjoyment at AbbyHasIssues.com<\/a>. Her work has been featured multiple times on The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, YourTango, Thought Catalog, Bustle, In the Powder Room and Erma Bombeck Writers\u2019 Workshop among others. She has self-published two books of her humor essays available on Amazon.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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