{"id":147231,"date":"2014-11-14T17:30:06","date_gmt":"2014-11-14T22:30:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/?p=147231"},"modified":"2014-11-14T17:07:39","modified_gmt":"2014-11-14T22:07:39","slug":"embarrassing-your-kids-in-public","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/embarrassing-your-kids-in-public\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Embarrass Your Kids In 10 Easy Steps"},"content":{"rendered":"

Kids are always humiliated by their parents — they always have been and they always will be. And if you are a parent like my mother is and like I am, you relish this. My mother’s favorite move was to start singing and dancing to whatever oldies music was playing in the grocery store. I know, right? It was awful. Which is why I plan to do the same thing to my children. The difference is that I will be awesome, because I will be dancing to the Beastie Boys and I am going to look damn good doing it. So suck on it, kids.<\/p>\n

Here is how you should play this, because our kids kinda deserve this<\/a>, don’t they?<\/p>\n

1. While shopping for groceries, “Baby Got Back” starts playing over the loud speakers.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"gleam\"

(Giphy)<\/a><\/p>\n

2. Start nodding your head.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"nod\"

(Giphy)<\/a><\/p>\n

3. Add in a little bounce.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"bounce\"

\u00a0(Giphy)<\/a><\/p>\n

4. Now it’s time to sway.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"bart\"

\u00a0(Reaction Gifs)<\/a><\/p>\n

5. Important!\u00a0Do not make eye contact<\/a><\/em>\u00a0with your child yet. So far, it’s just you in your world of groove.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"eye\"

(Tumblr)<\/a><\/p>\n

6. Bring on the soundtrack. Start to hum.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"hum\"

(Giphy)<\/a><\/p>\n

7. Throw in some awesome moves<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"moves\"

(Giphy)<\/a><\/p>\n

9. Now lock eyes with your red-faced child as you prepare for the finale.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"stare\"

(Giphy)<\/a><\/p>\n

10. And now dance, my fluffy kittens.<\/strong> Dance like it’s 1992 and your worst years are still ahead of you. Your children will be ashamed, but it will be shame tinged with awe.<\/p>\n

\"tina\"

(Giphy)<\/a><\/p>\n

Trust me. You’re going to kill it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kids are always humiliated by their parents — they always have been and they always will be. And if…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1000026,"featured_media":147244,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[35107,1190],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":31,"label":"motherhood"}],"post_tag":[{"value":35107,"label":"being a mom"},{"value":1190,"label":"embarrassing your kids"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/Screen-Shot-2014-11-13-at-9.29.23-PM.png",507,264,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Meredith Bland","author_link":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/author\/meredithbland\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":31,"name":"motherhood","slug":"motherhood","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":897,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Find ways to deal with common motherhood issues and problems. Learn the keys to successful motherhood, get tips, advice\r\n","parent":3,"count":139,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":31,"category_count":139,"category_description":"Find ways to deal with common motherhood issues and problems. Learn the keys to successful motherhood, get tips, advice\r\n","cat_name":"motherhood","category_nicename":"motherhood","category_parent":3}],"tag_info":[{"term_id":35107,"name":"being a mom","slug":"being-a-mom","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":32,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":535,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":1190,"name":"embarrassing your kids","slug":"embarrassing-your-kids","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":1246,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":11,"filter":"raw"}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/147231"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1000026"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=147231"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/147231\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/147244"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=147231"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=147231"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=147231"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}