all the babies God will give you<\/a>? That’s what I thought. Anna is getting worldly, you guys.<\/p>\nThe first pit stop on the trip is in Pennsylvania Amish country. They go to a store with produce and other Amish-y items and Josh once again reminds us of his intention to stop being fat by eating healthier foods. Disclaimer- I am not normally at all cool with fat shaming anyone but until Josh stops gay shaming, I will be making fun of him. And his man boobs. And his paunch.<\/p>\n
Anna starts grilling the Mennonite cashier about the differences between their way of life and the Amish. I find this funny because Anna seems so fascinated by a religious lifestyle with extreme differences from the mainstream. Ummm…..<\/p>\n
The interviews with the kids are absolutely adorable. I could watch them all day. However, we are interrupted to see what Josh is up to outside of the RV. He talks about how it’s not always pleasant traveling this way and I quickly realize what he is doing- the poop hose! That’s right- The Paunch is hooking up the tube for the sewage. Shitter’s full, Josh!<\/p>\n
Everyone goes to sleep and the next morning, they arrive in Gettysburg for more Duggar adventures afforded by Duggar privilege. All I can think is once this all blows over and they are officially has-beens, the kids are going to wonder why they aren’t allowed special shit everywhere they go. It will be a tough transition back to Regular People life.<\/p>\n
They hop out of the RV and are greeted by a guy dressed as a Civil War general. He teaches the family some military stuff and the kids are loving it. They are taken to a Victorian-era portrait studio where they dress up in period costume and have a tintype photo taken. Mackynzie looks precious and Anna looks beautiful. I like Anna with her hair up but that’s sinful so don’t expect to see it again any time soon. We then cut to Josh having his gut held in by some giant belt he’s wearing while dressed as a Union general. He looks terrible, of course. The picture is taken and life moves on. There are more TLC-arranged stops on Anna and Josh’s Lame Adventure!<\/p>\n
It’s Day Three of the trip and Josh is cruising along at a swift 20 mph in the old RV, his man boobs perfectly bisected by his seat belt. Anna expresses concern of not making it to Chicago on time (nice foreshadowing, TLC) and I am too busy noticing that the kid’s car seat buckles are super loose to hear what she says next. Get back there, Anna!<\/p>\n
The next stop is at the World’s Largest Coffee Pot in Bedford, PA. Because we all know if it’s one thing little kids are fascinated by, it’s giant coffee pots. They run around and get out some energy. Things take a dark turn, however, when they clamber back into the RV and suddenly, chunks of it are flying off the top and onto the highway. They stop again and Josh does some manly repairs. By this point, I am super bored. If TLC is going to manufacture some drama, they really need to do better than this. Like, “Up next on 19 Kids and Counting- Josh gets a very special visitor!” and BOOM! It’s a male stripper. Hey TLC, maybe you should hire me. Just a thought.<\/p>\n
They stop again at some garden and the kids are running around and all I can think is that they could have traveled to an empty parking lot and they would have been just as happy. Kids don’t give shits. They go to a county fair in Indiana (I think it was Indiana- again, I was bored and not totally paying attention) and Josh takes the kids on some rides. They do a little flashback to a super old episode where half the Duggars are horking into paper bags while suffering from motion sickness. Anna says it’s kind of a family trait and I instantly think this is just the half of the family that<\/em> nauseated by Jim Bob<\/strong> and his bullshit. Josh hangs in there for a few rides and then, they start hunting for unique, deep-fried fair food. Josh arrives on a doughnut burger. And this just became too easy for me.<\/p>\nSuper fast transition and I am totally unprepared for what comes next. They are letting the kids watch a cow give birth at some barn building. Slimy, bloody, birthing cows. And guys, this is where I lost all hope for Anna. All along, I’ve been rooting for her and her empty uterus thinking she was pulling one over on The Paunch but they cut to an interview where she nudges Josh about how cute babies are. Hint hint. Dammit it to hell, my Worldly Anna theory is blown to bits.<\/p>\n
In the final scene of Josh’s Calorie Adventure, the family eats dinner at a fried chicken joint. Anna starts peppering the server with questions about how the chicken is prepared and *shocker*, she gets to go behind the scenes to see how it’s done! I mean, a closed restaurant with a camera crew and a super famous reality family eating there? I am simply amazed that they got special attention. Anna brings out the chicken she helped make (Jesus, even on vacation she can’t get a break from cooking for Josh??) and the episode ends.<\/p>\n
I am kind of annoyed that TLC is making this a two-parter but I guess we need to stretch this out now that no one else is on the edge of being married. We get a teaser for the next episode where ANNA IS TAKING A PREGNANCY TEST! Ugh, my whole world is falling apart. Come back next week and read to see whether we should give up all hope for our girl.<\/p>\n
(Image: Defy Media)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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